Dumb Texas Laws

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Dumb Texas Laws

Stupid Laws in the Republic of Texas

Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."
Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can't move until the other does.
In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor...and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine.
In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length.
In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
It is legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it's illegal to reciprocate.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
It is illegal to carry a pair of wire-cutters in your back pocket.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
It is illegal for a person to shoot a buffalo from the second story of their hotel.
It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb.
It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn't blind.
Sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.
Lefors: It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing.
Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
Mesquite: It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
Richardson: It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do "U Turns".
San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.
Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.

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