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Legal Writing

: Writing Tools

Time to Play the Pyramid!

By Roy Peter Clark

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There are few dog and pony shows more productive and long lasting than the one I've shared with my pal Don Fry. Our friendship and collaboration go back almost 37 years, and we agree on many things about the values of journalism and the craft of writing. But not everything.

"Unmuddling Middles," by Don Fry.

"Writers Should Avoid the Inverted Pyramid," by Don Fry.

"You Love It, You Hate It: The Inverted Pyramid," by Chip Scanlan.

"Writing from the Top Down: Pros and Cons of the Inverted Pyramid," by Chip Scanlan.

On the value of the inverted pyramid as a story form, for example, Don Fry is a doody head.

Don delivers fiery orations condemning the pyramid to writer's hell. He argues that it is the "worst" story form in the "history of the world" because it persuades readers that if they keep reading, the story will get worse and worse, less and less interesting. There is some truth to this of course, but Don manages to try to turn a rigid old orthodoxy -- the pyramid rules! -- into a rigid new one -- the pyramid drools!

Sorry, Mr. Doody Head, there is no such thing as a bad story form. It becomes bad only when it is overused, overlong or misapplied.

Last week, for example, I came across a wire story in the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times written, more or less, in the pyramid form. Two photos of antique Western guns caught my attention, so I dove into the story and read it to the end:

St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times

SAN ANTONIO -- Item No. 1, for him: a Remington single-action revolver engraved with a scroll pattern and "Doroteo Arango" -- Pancho Villa's real name.

Item No. 2, for her: a pocket pistol in a leather case that bears the name Martha Jane Cannary, the true identity of Calamity Jane.

Weapons that belonged to the Mexican revolutionary and the hard-living frontier scout are expected to be the stars of a weekend auction in Fredericksburg that includes about 1,000 Old West objects.

The barrel of Villa's revolver is marked "Chih--1914," around the time he became governor of the Mexican state of Chihuahua. The gun, which was made about 40 years before that, is expected to fetch at least $30,000, auction managers said.

Also up for bid is a Mauser carbine rifle that Villa reportedly dropped in the Rio Grande during a skirmish with opposition forces. Villa "carried it with him because it has handy when he was on horseback," said Tom Burks, manager of the auction and former curator for the Texas Ranger Museum in Waco.

The rifle, estimated to have been made in 1898 or 1899, is expected to go for at least $25,000.

In 1916, Villa led a group of irregular fighters in a brief raid into Columbus, N.M., in what is considered the last battle against foreign forces on U.S. soil. Eighteen Americans were killed, prompting an unsuccessful manhunt for Villa. He made his peace with the Mexican government in 1920 but was assassinated in 1923 at the age of 45, likely out of fear he would rise up again.

Jane's Hopkins and All Ranger pistol, from the 1870s or the 1880s, is expected to sell for at least $35,000.

Calamity Jane, who was involved in several campaigns against American Indians, settled around Deadwood, S.D., and because friendly with Wild Bill Hickock. She died in 1903 and is buried near Hickock.

I admit that this story doesn't strictly adhere to the inverted pyramid structure, but the "item ... item" lead is as old as Don Fry's ties. The test of its pyramid status is that the reader can stop reading at any time without missing something crucial, and that a writer or editor can cut from the bottom without distorting the message or meaning.

The key to me is that this story holds my interest from beginning to end, and I do not feel the need to read a sentence more.

To write a good inverted pyramid story, consider these strategies:

Keep it short. (If it's much longer than the example above, it probably needs a different structure.)

Even though the end is less important than the beginning, hold a couple of nuggets for the ending to reward the reader. (In this case it's the introduction of Wild Bill Hickock.)