Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

From Coyt Randal Johnston of Dallas (Johnston & Budner), two excerpts from a six-week products liability trial involving the sleeping pill, Halcion. Randal and Mike Mosher represented the plaintiffs, and Randal's opening statement "made a big point that no witnesses would testify they had ever seen [Randal's plaintiff] use illegal drugs" - thus setting the stage for this exchange during Randal's direct examination of the former wife of his client:

Q. Did you ever know Bill to break drug laws of this country?

A. No.

Q. Did you and he ever have occasion to break the drug laws of this country together in any fashion?

A. Well, we did smoke a marijuana cigarette together.

Q. When was that?

A. In the early '70s. I suppose that was breaking the law, so I have to say yes we did.

(... a very long pause, while Randal - not expecting this answer - stares at counsel table. Then ...)

Q. Well, did you inhale?

Randal adds: "This trial started ... weeks before the presidential campaign when President Clinton gave this same explanation for his prior use of marijuana.
***

Randal also sets the stage for the second excerpt by explaining that the Upjohn attorney had successfully objected to the introduction of many FDA documents by concluding their objections with the statement that Randal's response was 'a bootstrap' argument, which they would then explain to the court in a manner that "I seldom understood." Randal was beginning "to believe that there must be some magic in this 'bootstrap' response" - which led to this exchange during the cross-examination of the plaintiffs' expert:

Q. As I estimate it, would it be correect that you will be paid about, oh, $12,000, $13,000 approximately for your testimony, sir?

A. I hope it is more than that, because I sure have done a lot more work than that.

Q. Could it be $15,000?

Mr. Johnston: Your Honor, objection; bootstrap. I don't know what it means, but it worked for them.

The Court: Well it isn't gonna work for you. Overruled.

Q. Is that about correct?

A. That's correct.

Full post as published by Say What! on August 26, 2008 (boomark / email).