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An Open Letter to Uncle Zeb

Like the rest of the tenants of the 21st century, I rely on credit and debit cards as my primary method of legal tender. I recognize that carrying cash worked perfectly fine in the days before electricity and networking were readily accessible, but given the advances since, it seems silly to keep insisting on it. I can buy music without leaving the comfort of my home, and can pause 30 Rock while I take a bathroom break - they even have video games you can control with your brain. So why doesn't Zeb take credit card?

One reason may be the fees that credit card companies charge. A quick googlin' reveals that Visa charges 1.62% of the purchase price. So my $1.75 coffee will now cost $1.78. Boo, hiss. I'd gladly pay everyone's fees for an entire day if meant that I could use my credit card. I'd even punch a whale in the face. The convenience is worth far more than 1.62%.

But what about the amount of time? Cash is way faster, right? This may have been the case when we were forced to use those 56.6k modems, with their cacophony of dial-up sounds (I still have nightmares about those beeps), but even with the problem-riddled Berkeley network, verification takes on average (through my completely unscientific study of I-House purchases) about 10 seconds from swipe to approval. Even the most dexterous Zeb-worker would have trouble making change at those blinding speeds. And anymore, signatures aren't required on purchases under $20, so unless you're treating me to lunch (which you should), you won't have to worry about the time lost searching for a pen.

So how about it Uncle Zeb? You want to get with the times and start taking credit card? I'm not even talking about those exotic credit cards like Amex and Discover (haha, seriously, who accepts Discover?). You will make a whole slew of Boalties happy.

Full post as published by Nuts & Boalts on November 19, 2008 (boomark / email).