Legal Commentary

Here's a little piece of advice to you new prawfs that you may not have heard before.  If your school is one of those where the students put on a musical every year to poke fun at law school life, including the professors, it is in your best interest to take affirmative steps to avoid being portrayed in a negative light during the show.  Believe me, you do not want to be tagged as the "sweaty" professor, or the "smarmy" professor, or the professor who loves to hear himself talk (like a prawf I've heard about who was portrayed singing, to the tune of the Divinyls hit song, "When I think about law, I cite myself").  To avoid this unfortunate fate, I recommend that you early on adopt a very obvious and hopefully charming (or at least harmless) affectation that the students will have no choice but to seize upon when depicting you in their musicals.  I started doing this right away and have done it successfully ever since.  At first, I made sure to always be seen around the law school playing with a slinky.  Now I never go anywhere without a roll of Smarties, the delicious sweet-tarty candy to which I am completely addicted.  I have to say that, although no students really know who I am and so never portray me in their musicals at all, I am quite confident that if they ever do put me in one of their plays, they will totally overlook all my negative characteristics and simply show me as a guy popping Smarties. 

Any ideas for good affectations our new prawf readers can adopt?