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: The Once and Future Lawyer

Thoughts after a month of online dating with match.com

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Much of this sort of echoes my previous experiences with online dating, but it's changed somewhat since I'm not in school and I'm actually have a decent job, so I thought it worth writing some thoughts. Maybe someone with experience from the other side can chime in as well. I almost am tempted to do something along the lines of what Law With Grace does out in Chicago with some of these dates, but I'll have to think about that some more.

I did have drinks with someone who told me she had just quit her job to go back to school (at night), but when I asked why they didn't want to take a part time job (during the day), she told me she wouldn't be able to collect unemployment. She must have seen the look of confusion on my face and it ended not too long thereafter.

This whole winking and emailing is nonsense. Winking moreso than emailing. I hate email, but you have to do it in order to get anywhere on this site. One girl told me she averaged 30 winks a day during the week and double on the weekend, and probably 10 or so emails a week. I had no response to that one other than shock and awe. Well, more shock and then a thought that maybe I'm not emailing enough to different girls. Then again, apparently a boatload of these are from divorcees and men with two or more half-children, so it sort of makes sense now why so many women feel compelled to put in their description that they don't want 60 year olds emailing them.

I could write more, but there's simply no point. Since I often get searches for "how long should I wait to respond to a wink" (or the other side of the coin "how long does it take for someone to email back"), however, I'll simply offer this advice: There is no internet etiquette (or at least the threshold is pretty low). If you're interested in a guy or girl who winks, you should respond within one day. If you're not interested, use the "no thanks" option. Same goes with email. If it takes a day or two and she seems to be playing on the swingers calendar, I take the same amount of time to respond. Other times I do it that day, but mainly because (again), I hate email and I figure I'll forget otherwise.

If you send one email and don't get a response, I take that to mean they aren't interested. Apparently others interpret this to mean send another two or three emails and a bunch of winks, or, in one case, stalk them on facespace or over i-m after figuring out their name. Weirdos. Don't do that, you're making the rest of us look bad. It's like that saying, if you don't know who the most annoying kid in your class is, it must be you.

Also, I can't tell you how many profiles I've seen where women under 6'0 are looking for men more than six inches taller? Seriously? There must be a lot of men on this site that lie about their height. Because of this, and these weirdo emailers, I'm beginning to think people like me (who stands at a meager 5'9) are getting screwed over.