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Law Humor
: Bernard MadoffAfter Dinner Cigar With Bernie...Thoughts From Today..

I won't make a habit of posting more than a couple of times a day, but we just finished a great dinner that was delivered in from Daniel--very nice place, right around the corner from me. Its one of Ezra's favorites, and Ruth loves it too. A little expensive, and I've been telling Ruth to slow down on the spending, but that kid Bouloud is a good boy, and he makes a great meal for us. He's got a place down in Palm Beach too. Everyone from the Club goes there.
So anyway, Ira and Sonny just left, and I'm sitting here smoking a cigar, reflecting on the events of the day...Everybody was talking about me again. But the Judge did the right thing, and everyone knows it..To you skanks at "Power Lunch" that were "outraged" at his decision, make sure you confer with the legal experts before spouting about "what a crime it is" that my bail wasn't revoked. What's criminal is how you people bend the truth!
Speaking of TV and skanks, if Hank Paulson gets on TV one more time during trading hours I'm going to pop a vein! Hank--when are you going to get the message?? Every time you go on TV the market tanks!.. I don't believe in conspiracies myself, but more than a few of us are thinking that the traders at Goldman are getting a heads up about your unscheduled TV interviews and shorting S&P's as soon you text them.
I promised that I'd answer questions from those that email me in.. Today's question is a tricky one..."What do you know about Plainfield..?"
Now, I'm guessing that you're asking about the hedge fund in Greenwich. I don't know much. But I'll try to cooperate with you.
Yes. They own a big slug of The Bank of Greenwich in Greenwich CT. So what? They also own other things, including stakes in a few casinos.
Yes. My friend Noel Levine is one of the major shareholders of Bank of Greenwich and sits on the Board.
Yes. Noel Levine has a real estate investment firm that occupies an office next to mine on the 17th floor. Yes. The phone # and suite # of Noel's office are the same as mine.
Yes. Plainfield's hedge fund--the one that was producing very nice and consistent returns, apparently put a freeze on their redemptions in November.
Yes. That was about the same time that some of our investors wanted to pull money out of BMIS. Schmucks.
Beyond that, I don't understand what your question is. What are you? Some kind of conspiracy nut?! Get a f--king life!
Last: I love Janey's idea about the book: Madoff Survivor Guide; and How to Manage With Only $15,000 a month. Although, we might need to change the title so that the number is really $5000 a month--that might be more realistic. But anyway, I'm thinking of including some tips from it every few days, here on my blog.
Here's tonight's tip: Cut down on the tipping. And definitely no need to tip on the bar bill. I don't drink, so its a cinch for me. But there's no need to leave a 20% tip. 10% is fine, 12.5% tops, especially when the bill is over $150.
Here's why: Its not like the food at Daniel, Coco Pazzo, The Palm, or any of those places weighs anymore on the tray than it does it at Red Lobster. And I've heard that a dinner for four at Red Lobster costs about $75. So the answer is: tip based on the comparative weight of the food that's served, not the price of the food.
You'll end up eating just as well, but it'll cost less!
Another tip tomorrow. Hopefully Paulson will keep his mouth shut long enough for me to get some trades done.
Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on January 12, 2009 (boomark / email).









