Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Law Humor Blogs -> Bernard Madoff

OR PHONE (866) 635-1838 for Bankruptcy Help, (866) 635-6190 for Divorce,
(866) 635-2689 for Personal Injury or (866) 635-9402 for Criminal Defense

Find a Local Lawyer

Bankruptcy (866) 635-1838
Divorce (866) 635-6190
Personal Injury (866) 635-2689
Criminal Defense (866) 635-9402

Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Madoff's Mile High Club: My Cessna is for the Birds!

ADVERTISEMENTS

Everybody knows that Ruth and I never liked flying commercial. Who could blame us?

Sure, we have a jet. Actually, we own a piece of two jets. That's the small one in the photo. Made by Cessna, and good for the short hops to Palm Beach. OK, so we're one of seven other people that share it. Two of them were slobs; always leaving f--king napkins stuck into a cushion.

But, after reading the news about Cessna this morning, we're going to let Irving Picard do what he wants with our share of that plane. Let him fly on it. Not us.

In fact, we're not buying into another one so soon either. This company is on the ropes. Only a month ago they announced they were going to lay off 600 people, and now, and all of sudden, they're going to lay off another 4000 over the course of the next year.

If we didn't have the Embraer, I'd say that Ruth and I will be flying commercial next time we go someplace, instead of on a Cessna. Especially after getting cc'd on the note below.

January 29, 2009To: Jack Stenton, CEO Cessna Aircraft Co.
From: Jeff Immelt, CEO, General Electric Co.
Dear  Jack:

I just read about Cessna's layoff strategy.

From one CEO to  another, and more importantly, because GE's insurance subsidiary is your primary  liability carrier, I'm hoping that you've assuaged your Quality Assurance team by informing them that their jobs are completely secure.  

If you hadn't read Bernie Madoff's comments on his blog (he's one of your customers), he referenced a guy that's an expert on how to manage layoffs properly. Bernie says that his expert has documented research that shows announcing stage-based layoffs on  a "to-be-announced-at-a-later-date" basis is more than likely to have a big negative impact on employee morale and worker  productivity.As your insurer, I can tell you that the last thing we need is for someone on your QA team to overlook a wing nut that  the assembly line forgot to tighten. Especially if its on  one of the jets that you're making for us!
And God forbid one of Citibank's Cessna's  goes down with Maria Baritoromo on board. The PR would be awful. The last time she was on one of their planes, it was bad enough, we don't need a complete fiasco over a loose wing nut.
Disgruntled workers are bad for business, Jack.  I'm thinking that you must have had an inkling last month when you announced the layoffs that business for '09 wasn't going to be so good. Maybe you were hoping that some of that TARP money would go towards banks buying some new toys?
If you don't get shit-canned for the way you're managing the company, take a lead from Bernie.
He knew that his business was going to be lousy in '09, and he made a clean sweep of his shop last week. The ones that are left are kissing his feet every day.
That's a management style that makes sense, Jack. Bernie didn't leave anyone around to guess if they might get fired in a month or two. That's dangerous in any kind of business.
But I'd think its a real sensitive topic for people that make airplanes.