Law Humor

Ruth-Call Up The Factory and Order More TP!!

I've been trying to get it into your thick skull for years that when you blabber too much, and when you put things in emails that you shouldn't, you get yourself f--ked!!!

Do you see Dopamine Jaffe blabbing?? NO! Do you see Sonny blabbing?? NO! (OK, so the Feds got lost trying to find his house... What? You think they know how to read a map??)...Do you see Frank D. blabbing?? Well...maybe he is, but lets hope not..

Anyway, if you take 2 lousy minutes from your "very busy schedule" surfing Jdate, and pick up the NY Times, you might figure out that the message you sent me on Wednesday about SIB in Antigua was picked up by every smarty pants reporter in the world!!!

Do you want to see the f--king note I just got from that guy Stanford??!!

From: Allen Stanford, Chairman, Stanford International Bank
To: Bernard Madoff

Dear Bernie:

As you can tell from the photo, I'm in transit at the moment, and I'm not about to tell you where I'm headed. One too many blabber mouths on your side of the table. I know its not you, you don't say shit to anyone, but I just wanted to let you know that when I get my hands on your son, I'm going to teach him "Texas style" what happens when you blab too much. Just like you say, "Trust me"!

If you need me to paint you a picture about what I'm thinking of doing to him, I'll send you a photo we just took of that snoop Dalmady.

If you people don't already know it, within a day after your idiot offspring sent you that note on Wednesday about people looking into SIB, f--king BusinessWeek ran a last-second front page story about me, and those muck rackers at the NY Times ran their own story this morning!

I still can't change the rules about the CD; the 30 day hold period stands; but you'll still be earning the 7 pts. But, if you want Juan to make sure that your request from Wednesday is processed as discussed, no thanks to your kid, I need another lawyer, and I need you to have Ira call me today.

And tell Ira not to waste his time lecturing me about the 'conflict' thing. I know all about it. And he knows all about it. And no, I'm not going to call him "Ike". You people and your f--king nicknames are making me crazy!

Otherwise-tell Baby Ruth to have a Happy Valentine's Day.
R.A.S.

Are you happy now, Andy???!!!

Ruth- Have Jodi call up the factory right now! There's a lot more people crapping their pants now! Have her send Stanford 2 cases of TP and 2 cases of Madoff's Pisher Pads, too. Or just scroll to right column and order it online.

Also- I ordered the Red Velvet Cake at Grace's just like you asked. They said it will be ready by 5pm with the rest of the order.

Bernie

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 13, 2009 (boomark / email).