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Mid-Day With Madoff- Nan Knows Nothing!

With everyone chasing their tails, its no wonder that we're almost out of Madoff's Toilet Paper!

Morning Memos:

1. To Nan
From Bernie

Bongiorno! I got your message. Before you crap your pants after reading today's delayed news from that kid Aaron at the WSJ, Ira's going to stop by your house later today and drop off a case of Madoff's Toilet Paper.

2. To Ira
From Bernie
Maybe you should stop talking to the media so much? How about a simple "No Comment" instead of f--king tipping these people off about the conflict issue?!!! You told me that nobody would pick up on that!! Oy.

3. To Baby Ruth-
From Me
Stop worrying about the homestead thing. I'll have Ira tell the people at CBS that they're getting confused with the reservation that you made at Old Homestead . Reporters don't know squat. And besides, its already taken care of. Nobody can touch the place in Palm Beach.

If some kids want to do the TP thing again, I had one of those newspaper machine dispensers placed in front of the house--so the next group of kids are going to have to put $5 in the machine and use our Madoff Mania TP.

Or they can scroll to the right column and buy it right here!

4. To Sonny D. :
From Bernie & Ruth:

Stop with the strawberry ice cream! Give me a call when you get to Aspen, and btw-change the mailing address, its all over the net by now.

5. To Mark:
From Your Father
I thought I told you hire that little Russian girl to clean your house in Nantucket?? Frank says she keeps knocking on his door! And, stop kvetching so much to so many people! Your mother is sending over some Xanax later today.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 13, 2009 (boomark / email).