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Celebrating Valentine's Day, BigLaw style

By Anonymous

Friday was a very busy day. I was at my desk at 6:15 a.m. to finish redactions on a huge batch of documents with a production deadline of 1 p.m. It was early, but perfect because Landon had a Valentine's party at daycare at 3 and JP and I had a big date planned for 7. I was going to leave work around 2, having already put in an 8-hour day, go watch Landon eat lollipops and run around in circles with his toddler friends, come home and relax with my boys, and then get dressed up for JP and my first date night since October. Perfect.

Except it didn't quite work out like that.

First, the privilege reviewers didn't get enough docs done Thursday night so that I, the redacter, could complete the review on pace for a 1 p.m. production. While I was waiting for more documents to pop up in my batch, the partner gave me another assignment to finish before I left. I got that done around 2 and then jumped back on redacting (clearly the 1 p.m. deadline wasn't happening) and didn't move from my hunched over position until we were done at 5:30. Obviously, I missed the daycare party. I was sad about this for the five seconds I had time to be sad about it, but JP was there, Landon was just happy to have a dum dum in his mouth, and I got to watch via the daycare video camera system. From my sound-free, birds-eye view it looked like there was lots of running about, some snacks, and a Landon who was absolutely determined to stand on the table and when denied, crawled under it and stayed there until JP dragged him out by his feet. So, your average toddler party.

I did make it home by 6, and was surprised to find a laundry room full of balloons, candles, a cookie cake, and a Landon holding his Valentine's Day card for me. It was very sweet and JP and I sat on the floor to read our cards and laugh while Landon chased balloons into the wall, only to have them bounce back and hit him in the face. I changed into something cute and non-lawyerly and read books with Landon until our friend and JP's business partner came over to babysit. (I think I've called him "Steve" before- I lived with him in Austin while I was a pregnant summer associate, JP swam with him in college, and they're starting a business together now that he's retired from Olympic swimming.) I'm not sure Steve knew what he was getting in to with volunteering to care for a toddler, but we jumped at the generous offer. After a quick run-down of Landon's favorite snacks and books, a diaper tutorial (the tabs attach in the front), and a briefing on the bedtime routine (brush teeth, read a book, sing a song, stick him in bed, close the door), we were OUT. JP's parents had sent us a surprise $100 Valentine's Day check and rather than save it like we usually do, we vowed to spend every dollar.

We went to a delicious upscale Mexican place and sat outside on a 70-degree night drinking margaritas and talking. Just before the appetizers arrived my blackberry started buzzing- and didn't stop until around 2 a.m. There were some problems with a bunch of the documents and we had until 7 a.m. to resolve them. I emailed the two senior associates to say I was out to dinner but if we needed to back through the docs, I'd log in when I got home. We still enjoyed our meal, lingering over dessert and reveling in the fact that we weren't sharing a table with a ticking time bomb of a toddler with an arm's reach that is always longer than you think it is. Our bill, with tax and tip, came to exactly $99, so at least a few pieces of the day worked out perfectly. We got home, thanked Steve (who said Landon was perfect and asked what on earth JP had been complaining about for all these months), enjoyed some more non-work time together while I waited for my margarita buzz to go away, and then I logged back in to my computer and helped finish the documents until 2 a.m.

Did it suck to have to get back to work at 11? Yes, a lot. I really, really wanted to be in bed snuggled up next to JP, drifting to sleep in a haze of tequila and lime. And in the moment I was totally planning a whiny blog post about it, but nearly 1,000 legal jobs were lost on Thursday and the total since late last year is higher than that. I have a job I really like- maybe even love, a firm that has not frozen salaries, is not letting anyone go, and is more than willing to let me find my own career path. Both senior associates (one of whom was on vacation) and the partner were also up past midnight working on this project, and I still got to enjoy a wonderful, 2+ hour meal with a husband who graciously offered to get up with Landon for the third morning in a row. I missed my son's daycare party, but his beloved "da DA!" was there, as were dum dums, so he was fine. I think work-life balance is about drawing lines when needed and giving yourself a break when line-drawing just isn't possible. I drew a line at dinner- I wasn't going to suggest leaving early, but I was willing to work later if necessary; I couldn't draw a line at 3, so I let myself decide that missing a Valentine's exchange when he was 19-months old wasn't going to scar Landon for life.

So despite a few moments where I admit to feeling sorry for myself, it was a really good day. And it was followed by a really good weekend with heart-shaped pancakes and a back porch grilled steak dinner. I'm taking tomorrow off and Landon and I are going to a morning program at the Austin Children's museum- I've told everyone on the case that I will have no blackberry or internet access from 9-noon. I'm sure I'll have to work in the afternoon, but that's fine, life is good.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on February 15, 2009 (boomark / email).