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From Bernie: President's Day TARP Sale

To all of you (including E.B.) that are kvetching that I took yesterday off--I say "forgive and forget!"

Ruth and I actually spent the day entertaining the Noels, and one thing led to another, and before you knew it, everyone was playing with the defib. Mordy-expect Walter to give you a call, his wife loves these things and wants one for each of their houses.

Andy-you need to get off that f--king Jdate.com and give one of Walter's daughters a call! Just make sure that you stay away from those muck rackers at Page Six.

Next:
To Tim Geithner:
From: Bernie Madoff
RE: TARP Proposal

Tim-
Even though it made perfect sense a month ago, we've decided not to take any FART (sorry, I mean TARP) funds.

Not because the $5 billion wouldn't solve the short-term problem and give us the liquidity to keep sending out consistent returns, and not because you guys are all of a sudden starting to ask a lot of stupid questions.

But because of that stupid executive compensation cap. Ruth obviously couldn't get by with just $500k a year--her spending in December alone would make the whole thing a non-starter. I also checked with Mark, Andy, Frank, Sonny, Sonny, and a few others on the team. All of them have nuts bigger than Thain's and Paulson's combined.

And when it comes to what Marcia and Shana need to live on, well you can see the predicament. I won't even mention what Walter and his crew need. But Ezra says he's cutting back.

Next:
Some knucklehead thinks that NTC was set up by Frank's brother-in-law in Denver just to accomodate some special friends and family.

That's bull sh-t. Trust me. Go ask Frank's brother-in-law. You've got plenty of time to get hold of him; the feds are busy interviewing his landscaper first. Just like they're talking to the people at Frank D.'s boat slip. That's how the feds build a case. Don't ask me...sounds ass-backwards, but what would I know?

To Ruth:
From Bernie:

Yes, I've explained to everyone that you and Marion made the "reservation" re: "Old Homestead" at the same time for a reason. It was a family party.

Sure, some people are gossiping that it had something to do with that SEC investigation. What do they know? They're the same ones that think NTC is something sinister. They're morons. Next week they'll go back to gossiping about Walter Noel. In the meantime, the houses in Florida are protected. So stop with the kvetching.

Last:
To Sonja K.
From Bernie:

Sonja- there's lots of confusion out there, especially about what Sonny and Sonny did or didn't send you out of Cohmad. I'm thinking you might want to hire a PR firm instead of just sending out statements from wherever you are right now.

Speak to Walter about that, he just hired a big PR firm here in NY..Rubenstein and something. Then again, maybe you don't want Walter's PR firm. Unless you want to have your picture all over the NY Post.

Best-
BLM

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 16, 2009 (boomark / email).