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Madoff Morning Flash: Tweeting Updates for the Twits

Everybody knows that my split strike hedge strategy was ingenious, so just in case Judge Denny makes a stupid decision this morning, and doesn't realize that I can sing much better from my co-op, to make sure that I can still deliver the consistent returns you've been getting here every day since December 12, I'll keep updating everyone through my new Twitter account.

Yep...Nadir, one of my software guys, set this up this morning. So, no matter what happens, I'll be able to keep delivering what everybody has been asking for. Just like always. All you need to do is sign up to follow my updates.

Next: Tickets for this morning's live appearance were over-subscribed, and we took in over $300k. Annette hasn't counted out the pay-per-view sales yet, because they're still taking place, but Baby Ruth and I decided all of the proceeds should be directed to Irving Picard's account, after we take out the referral fees that Judge Denny is entitled to.

We'll make sure that Sosnick and Bell accounts for every penny--and as always, the referral fees will be paid out via the Cohmad account.

Last--Just wanted to also congratulate Marc Polish on being appointed as a director of Madoff Mania LLC. He's going to be in charge of developing new products, including our new TALC. Forget TARP, forget TALF, think TALC!

We're not out of the woods yet, and everyone's going to be shvitzing, including all of those people that took out plenty of money from BMIS over the years, and actually never "lost" a dime.

More to come later today. No matter what. Trust me.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on March 12, 2009 (boomark / email).