Law Humor

Bernie-Its Just As Cold Out Here!!!

Those bastards wouldn't let me visit you today. They said that you were having your nails done, but I can't believe that for a minute!!

I've already told Peter Chavkin that this is inexcusable! They treat the people at Guantanamo Bay better!! What was the point of making so many donations to that good-for-nothing Chuck Schumer??!! But, Peter is very cute and very charming, so I'm sure he'll be able to help Ira with getting you out of there quickly.

I've read that they keep the temperature cold in that awful place, and I'm very sorry. Please make sure to ask for two extra blankets.

But, I should tell you that its getting f*@*ing freezing out here! And I'm not talking about the temperature in the apartment. Those coats that I picked up from Ben Kahn aren't going to help when it comes to the kind of freeze they've been talking all day today.

Its a good thing Peter is also a member of the Florida bar; I've already booked the tickets. I'm just waiting to hear from Ira what your schedule for the week looks like. The stupid things some people are saying... why would I have a Florida driver's license and vote in Florida if I weren't a bonafide Florida resident??

Chavkin also set up an appointment for me with Dr. Friedberg. I spoke to him on the phone, and he was nice enough to send over a few weeks worth of Wellbutrin in advance of the appointment.

Your "friend" Lev isn't much of a friend, but then again, the dozens of people that you made fabulously wealthy are proving to be sh-t! Just like you said. Even Carole has stopped calling. Absolutely despicable.

As far as I'm concerned, the "government" can have the house in France. They can have the entire country for that matter! I hated all of those snooty French people. Even though I was getting sick of seeing Jaffe's house from our window, the place in Florida they can have too, but they'll have to fight for that.

You werre right about the apartment. They can have that too. All of these disgusting squeegee people are all over the place now. And if anyone thinks this place would sell for more than $5 million in this market, they're smoking whatever Jimmy Cayne was smoking when he came here the last time.

I'd actually prefer to move out to the place in Montauk permanently, even if it does get a bit damp there during the winter. But we'll see.

Obama was right when he said the government's biggest problem is that there are a bunch of idiots working in Washington. Or was it that nut Markopolos that said that? These past two months has made me very confused! And don't say "It's the botox that's making you crazy.."! That's not funny. And, I'm not in the mood for jokes right now!

The boats?? They can go take a long walk off a short pier and go fishing on those boats today for what I care. Let them find out how much it costs to keep those things in good condition!! And f--k them when they find out there's a leak in the big one!

They even said they want the cars.. Which proves what we all know--those government idiots are idiots. The cars were taken back by Picard and the leasing company two months ago!! Didn't anyone speak to Kugel about that??

I still have a box of those toy Corgi cars that Andy collected when he was a boy--maybe I should send over a few of those? That should make those morons happy!!

Also- I told your brother that there's no need for anyone to be giving back bonuses. AIG's people aren't giving any back, and Merrill's people aren't giving any back. And those bonuses came from that stupid FART program. The bonuses we paid to everyone didn't come from the government!! Why is everyone so stupid??

Marcia and her roommate are coming by again tonight for dinner. I'm having Chavkin join us also. He really is very charming.

I'll try to get in to see you tomorrow.
I miss you!
BR

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on March 16, 2009 (boomark / email).