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Love-Crazed Journos Write Their Hearts Out

By Roy Peter Clark

Little did we realize that our whimsical little short writing contest would attract dozens upon dozens of entries from love-starved writers from all over the world. We're about to name three winners, 10 finalists and a list of honorable mentions. But first, information we've gleaned from the exit polls:

1. Entries from women outnumbered those from men by a margin of five to one. This proves that a) women in journalism rule and/or b) the guys need to "get busy."

2. The best entries were in the journalism love category. The j-loves dominate among the finalists.  The generic love messages went nowhere.

3. Two political messages were among the finalists. Barack Obama dominated these love messages with "Obama Mama" being the most common (hence the least creative) entry. So much love in that direction proves now beyond contradiction that American journalism leans to the left.

Here then are the three winners, who will be sent autographed copies of the new paper edition of "Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer":

Comma see me (Punctuated love with a Sophia Loren flair.) -- Submitted by Susan Shillinglaw

Our love stet (Let it stand, baby, let it stand.) -- Submitted by Ivy Moore

Invert me (That old pyramid never looked so good.) -- Submitted by Millie Munshi

The winners and finalists were chosen for their adherence to standards: Ten characters or fewer; originality; sweet or spicy, but not raunchy.

Many of you, I'm sad to say, submitted entries that violated our PG-13 rating. These were immediately disqualified from the competition, and we say "shame on you" if you submitted one of the following:

Dangle my participle
Split my infinitive
Mm, mm, mmmm
Heart on
Hot nut (graf)
Insert here
Lika ur pica

And for the kinky among you: "Spike it!" and "Watch me cut," this last message coming from a sadistic editor in love with a masochistic writer, no doubt.

That brings us to the 10 finalists. The first two are political:

Ba-Rox my sox
and
Huck Struck

The rest come from j-love:

Luv byte
I'm ur tease
Hot scoop
Im-press me
Lede me on
Sexy syntax
Pxl8 me
I luv u -30-

And the honorable mentions:

Let's go on a dateline
You Barack my world
Edit me
Justify me
Tight copy!
Heart beats
Obamarama
J-cool graduate
Just my type
Twitter me
I Digg you!
You're De.lic.ious
Folo my lede
Write tight
Be my scribe
You're on A1
Kiss my Face (bk)
Hillaryous
Zellous
Tight graf

Congratulations to all.

Full post as published by Writing Tools on February 14, 2008 (boomark / email).