Law Humor

Who Moved The Soap Before Sentencing??

To Dad:

From: Andy

Not sure if you saw this yet..

Good work!

Prisons Bar Alcohol Hand Sanitizers, Bernie Madoff Requests Soapopular?s Alcohol-Free, Fragrance Free

New York, NY (AP)--While Correctional facilities in Canada and the US have prohibited alcohol-based hand sanitizers for several years, the Swine Flu crisis has spotlighted the issue throughout the North American prison industry.

According to sentencing consultant Herbert Hoelter, ?Many prison administrators throughout the United States are taking note of the fact that Ponzi-schemer Bernie Madoff, a long-time victim of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) has made a special request that he be permitted a life-time supply of Soapopular alcohol-free, fragrance free hand sanitizer when he is remanded to a federal penitentiary."

When asked to comment on this request, US Bureau of Prisons Director Harley Lappin stated, ?The fact is that each facility is responsible for procuring their own products, but Mr. Madoff?s request is something that we?ve given serious attention to. Not only is he within his rights, we think he is exactly right when it comes to the need for this product. What with all of the Swine flying around, our office is now informing the regional directors that Soapopular product can be procured on-line, directly from the manufacturer.?

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 24, 2009 (boomark / email).