Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

From Farrell Bolz of Houston, these excerpts from "the deposition of [Huntly B. Farichild] an elderly landowner of Sunshine, LA, whose bull wandered through a gate and then highway fence, and was struck by my client's [truck] in the middle of an intersate highway."

Q. I need to ask you some things about what you do or do not know about how the accident happened. I'm not trying to trick you about anything.

A. I'm not worried about that.

Q. The only thing I ask you to do, is if I ask you something that you don't understand -

A. I'm going to ask.

Q. - Tell me and I'll be glad to rephrase it for you, okay?

A. You talk my language.
***

Q. Did you yourself after you knew that hole was in the fence, do anything to try to get that particular hole fixed?

A. No, because it didn't bother me. If could have stayed there...

Q. You knew the hole was there but you didn't go anything to get it fixed?

A. Well, it wasn't bothering me.
***

Q. Why is it that no one can enter your property just by crossing this ditch and going through the hole in the fence?

A. They couldn't get back in unless they go down about a 150, 200 yards of ditch down there that you can't - it will bog a snake.
***

Q. You don't have any knowledge that people were using this hole as a means of avoiding having to circle all the way back to the entrance and exit ramps?

A. No. Ain't nobody went throgh there, honey. I'm telling you it was wet, and the ditch, they didn't drive through it. Now, a four-wheeler or jeep or something would go through it, but that is what i was watching for, but didn't nobody go through it.

If it wasn't that, I would have never fixed the fence. I fixed it not because of cattle, but fixed it keep outlaws and inlaws out.

Full post as published by Say What! on July 29, 2009 (boomark / email).