Family Law

Divorce can be an opportunity to redecorate. Not an opportunity most of us would hope for but an opportunity nonetheless.

?Regardless of the circumstances, the transition is difficult, but I find that working with clients after a divorce can be a healing experience for them,? said Kim Kenney, interior designer with Interiors, Joan and Associates.

?Working with a designer to furnish or refurnish a room provides a positive experience for clients as they strive to establish their own identity and search for new beginnings,? she said. ?As the interior designer on these projects, my greatest reward is to watch and enjoy my clients? self-esteem build and their identities strengthen.?

Decorating or redecorating after a divorce can be an opportunity to decorate in a way that reflects your style without having to compromise, which is often the case in a marriage, said Drew Morrow, interior designer with Morrow Interiors.

One of his clients embraced a decorating style far different from what he lived with when he was married. His former wife kept all the Oriental furnishings, and he pursued his desire for Western-themed decor. Kenney worked with a client whose favorite color was red, a color her former husband hated. ?She showed up to an appointment one day looking totally refreshed and dressed in a new red suit. With her black hair and ivory complexion, she looked stunning,? Kenney said.

That became the theme for the client?s great room. The walls were painted red and accented with floral and striped fabrics. One of Kenney?s male clients maintained the family home after the divorce. As a couple, they bought the home with the intention of redecorating but that had been pushed to the wayside.

Once the divorce was final, the pink, baby blue and cream lace window treatments were taken down, the floral wallpaper was stripped, and the pink chandelier went away. ?Those items were replaced with sleek contemporary designs of black, burgundy, camel and brushed nickel. He went from an extremely ?busy? feminine style to a stately, handsome environment,? Kenney said.

Some men who find themselves on their own again opt for leather furniture and a clean, contemporary look, but their strongest interest often is acquiring the latest technology, ?which may have been a repressed desire during the marriage,? Morrow said. Not everyone can afford an interior designer after a divorce but that?s OK. ?Many of us start with things that don?t come out of furniture stores,? said Gayle Andres, Singles Ministry director at St. Mark?s United Methodist Church.

Thrift stores, consignment stores, garage sales and furnishings from family and friends can be a good start. Andres advises the newly divorced to avoid making big decisions, including decorating decisions, for a couple of years after the divorce because decisions made early on can be reactionary, rather than wise. That doesn?t mean that you can?t have it your way, she said. ?But if you love pink, maybe you should get a pink chair or a pink lamp instead of pink carpet. If you love Oriental things, buy a few at a time.?

After a difficult divorce, one woman looked at her house, which was practically empty except for two beds and a loveseat, and was filled with despair. ?You can have fun redecorating,? said one of her friends, trying to console her. ?But I can?t afford to,? was the reply. The friend took her to garage sales ? a new experience for her ? and the friend bartered for coffee tables and lamps, restocking the house in a hodgepodge of furnishings. 

It wasn?t the stuff of HGTV, but it was a good thing to do. ?It helps to reframe your picture of yourself, from victim or depressed to having fun starting anew. It frees you to see yourself as capable of starting over,? said psychologist Pat Street. And a sense of humor, if you can muster it, can help, too. ?I always say that she got everything named Ethan Allen and I got everything that said bill,? said Jim Danielson of his divorce. He smiled as he added: ?I still miss my pots and pans.?

Read it all at the JournalStar.