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: A Public Defender's Life in Alaska

So, there is something so satisfying about having every single thing (other than a few seasonings) on the plate from the back yard. We often eat like this at this time of the year. Now it is pork, but I also have rabbit and chicken. I consider the fish I caught and even the road kill moose to be "my" food too. I just bottled some homemade Merlot. We have dug up a hundred pounds plus of potatoes. We still have some root crops coming out of the garden, and the kale survived the first real frost, which was Wednesday. Talk about a taste of things to come. I have to go out and start the truck before I can go to work because of the frozen windshield now. The woodstove is going well. The freezers are stocked. God you should see the freezers. 300 lbs of pork. Moose. Chickens. 30 rabbits or so. Vegetables. Salmon. Halibut. A few odds and ends. Absurd really. The garden is in or the crops still there are frost hardy. The kids are happy and healthy. The bills are (more or less) paid. Work is work. So why is it that I feel my old friend depression creeping around the edges? It was almost exactly 2 years ago that this part of my life first started for me, and it has never really left me. Perhpas part of it is because tomorrow is my third anniversary with the Agency. Perhaps it is just that, at least for tonight, I feel the passage of time as keenly as if it were a knife. I will write tomorrow about my feelings about being here three years. For now I will enjoy some of the Merlot. The fire. The new kitten I got the girls. The fact that is dark outside. The fact that the girls are asleep and happy. God, I hope that one day they realize how much I love them.

Full post as published by A Public Defender's Life in Alaska on September 25, 2009 (boomark / email).