Law Humor

Bitter Sweet Reward For Bernie's Buddies

Bernie:

Please tell Ike Sorkin that we're doing everything that we can to make sure that the people at Butt Hole don't hold anything back re: any bonuses that you might be entitled to.

Please keep in mind, even if Tim Geithner will need to provide a significant bailout of the SEC after Herrick's lawsuit against them is resolved, its going to be such a cluster-f--k when it comes time to figuring out who will be responsible for overseeing your particular compensation while you're in the custody of BOP.

As it is, we're going to have our hands full figuring out whether Irv Picard's fees for "recovering" the $1 billion at JPMorgan and BNY might actually be considered egregious.

As you know, Picard struck his deal last year, and since Treasury doesn't yet have a significant equity stake in the SEC (only because Herrick's suit has yet to be resolved), any compensation deals that may have existed prior would likely be allowable. You'd want to have Ike review the terms of the AIG compensation packages for reference on this topic.

That said, if you reference the documentation re: the Fannie Mae bailout, it will become clear that employees that had any information about improprieties at FNMA were paid a special bonus by the government to keep silent about what they might have known.

Obviously, many former government employees that are now in the private sector, such as your brother's son-in-law, have also been required to sign confidentiality agreements.

Suffice to say, the US Govt isn't anxious to have any dirty laundry flying around, which would explain why the SEC has simply elevated certain staff members that were responsible for overseeing audits of your firm over the past two decades, or has otherwise introduced special clauses into their pension payment programs, preventing anyone from discussing their jobs.

But, you will appreciate that one private company has stepped up to make these somewhat bitter issues much sweeter for everyone. They've got an unbelievably delicious chocolate product, which uses 100% Arriba Cacao beans--which means their product is unique to any other chocolate in the world.

They're now offering a special pre-Halloween sale price on all of their items, and since I know that Baby Ruth, Shana, Stephanie, and all of the girls from your old firm are chocolate aficionados; even those on a budget will be able to splurge like the Princesses that they are. We're talking just a little bit more than $1 for a bar of the best chocolate in the world. Unbelievable, but true! Just like some of the other headline news stories!

Click on the image below, and hurry...when the news gets out, its likely that the few hundred cases of chocolate bars will have already been sold!

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on October 23, 2009 (boomark / email).