Law Humor

This case report dates back to late 2005, but for some reason was only recently brought to my attention:

Greene County, Missouri (Springfield)- Assault & Battery; Case #102CC1251; Judge: Mark Fitzsimmons
Verdict: 12/21/05 for Plaintiff $65,000.00.
Chris Ames v. Friendly Ford; Jay Wise
Length of Trial: 3 days; Jury Deliberation: 4 hours 20 minutes
Plaintiff Allegations:
Plaintiff alleged that defendant Wise assaulted and battered him by striking him in the genitals and hitting him with a comb he called "Mr. Snappy."
Defense:
Defendant Wise maintained that his actions were simply office horseplay.
Demonstrative Evidence: nylon comb - "Mr. Snappy"
Plaintiff's Age: 34; Occupation: roofer
Damages/Injuries Alleged: emotional distress
Medical Expenses: none
Wage Loss: none
Property Damage: none
Plaintiff's Medical Experts: none
Other Experts for Plaintiff: none
Defendant's Medical Experts: none
Other Experts for Defendant: none
Last Demand: $30,000.00
Last Offer: none

I guess this serves as evidence that even a fairly straightforward trial -- no expert witnesses, no complicated legal issues, certainly no complicated damages issues, and only one demonstrative exhibit, i.e., "Mr. Snappy" -- can still consume three full days of someone's life.