Legal Commentary

Lawyers, Guns & Money

By Kevin Funnell

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."
---Jack Handy

This has been one of those days. Who needs lawyers? You do, you ignorant dweeb, you absolutely clueless white-shoed, white-belted salesman with the IQ of cold hamburger. You do, you fatuous blowhard with the bluetooth earpiece, the grande nonfat latte, drifting across the center line while you yak on your cellphone about a deal you haven't got a prayer of closing because your head is planted too far up your nether regions to see the light of day, much less the fact that your opponent outmaneuvered you light years before you took your first breath. You do, Mr. too lazy to work, too nervous to steal.

Who needs lawyers? Nobody does...until they do.

Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians, too

I was gambling in Havana
I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money
Dad, get me out of this

I'm the innocent bystander
When somehow I got stuck
Between a rock and a hard place
And I'm down on my luck
And I'm down on my luck
And I'm down on my luck

Now I'm hiding in Honduras
I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan

Send lawyers, guns and money...

Full post as published by Counseling Kevin on June 21, 2010 (boomark / email).