Legal Commentary

Miss America Pageant: Embarrassing Train Wreck

By Jeralyn

Update: Miss Nebraska, who answered a question about Wikileaks, calling it espionage and saying that government security is more important than the public's right to know, wins. Need we say more?

I really had no intention of watching Miss America. It's a cringe-inducing, fake imitation of a Norman Rockwell America.

But I turned it on by accident during the first 15 minutes (in the midst of the introductions, complete with corny one liners for each state, blinding white teeth and overblown hair. ) It's the proverbial train wreck you can't turn away from. I don't think I've ever seen so many unattractive women in the show (although I've probably never watched one from start to finish.) So many had crooked smiles, uneven eyes or noses, and overly long faces. And what was the big deal about the bald contestant, since she wore a wig the whole time?

The swimsuit competition: Three or four had stunning bodies and knew how to move them, but so many looked like a commercial for breast implants, and one had thighs so out of proportion to her body it was embarrassing to watch. She looked like a linebacker. [More...]

Brooke Burke is not a good host. When she ran out of breath chasing two contestants to the wardrobe change room, shouting a question at them, they ignored her. On live TV, so they couldn't cut it. (Chris Harrison, on the other hand, was a good, no complaints.)

The evening wear competition is much better and at least some of the finalists are pretty and have a sparkle that seems genuine though the schmaltz.

As for those who say to give them a break because they're on national TV and it must be nerve-wracking, I don't buy it. These women have been in pageants for years, working their way up their county and state circuits. They've been competing in Vegas all week. They're doing this for the exposure. They ought to be able to handle it by now. (Or how about all their overlays during the talent which showed them performing as little girls?)

And their videos. One talked about the advantages of being "racially ambiguous." Just bizarre. But then so was her talent routine, with double ventriloquist dolls singing a cowboy song that included yodeling. (Actually it was one of the most original performances and pretty good.)

Is anyone else watching?

Update: The interviews. Miss Nebraska was asked about Wikileaks and "how do we balance the people's right to know with the need of government security?" She answers that Wikileaks is about espionage and the security of the nation is more important than people's right to know.

Two that didn't make the finals that I thought were good: Miss Colorado and Miss Virgin Islands. Two that should have been cut at the outset: Miss Delaware and Miss Utah. (Ms. Utah's opening line: "Tonight 53 women share a dream, not a husband." Was she registering a complaint against "Big Love"? ) Or how about Miss Iowa: "Leading the state in ethanol production, my state gives you gas."

Miss Nebraska aka Ms. National Security wins. (She's 17 and was home-schooled until her junior year.) First runner up: Miss Arkansas. Second runner up: Miss Hawaii. Here's a pretty good wrap-up.

Full post as published by TalkLeft on January 16, 2011 (boomark / email).