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Law Humor

Legal Juice

Focuses on the lighter side of the law by highlighting all things humorous about the legal profession, ranging from odd cases and strange court filings to weird laws.
By John Mesirow

Post Frequency: 5.9/day

Last Entry: May 25, 2010 at 02:01:20

Motion to Dismiss the Constitutionality of F...

Posted on November 26, 2009
Suspected of smoking in the boys room, you are escorted to the principal's office. Tactically, it's probably not smart to call the principal a "fucker," a "fag," and a "fucking fag." That's what Mr. L was alleged to have done. And the punishment? Suspension? Expulsion, maybe for a repeat offender? No, young Mr...

There Are Consequences For Flipping Off A Cop - Though They Might Surprise You

Posted on November 25, 2009
Yes, folks, this bird is protected by the Constitution, as the City of Pittsburgh learned the hard way. Back in 2006, David Hackbart (of Butler, Pennsylvania) flipped off a cop, and got a disorderly conduct citation. He fought it, hard. Per the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review: Pittsburgh City Council initially approved today a $50,000 settlement for a lawsuit filed by a Butler County man who gave the middle finger to a motorist and a police officer in 2006...

An Interesting Way To Get Rid Of The Evidence

Posted on November 24, 2009
This Ohio bank robbery suspect was much more alert than the police officers who were dutifully searching him as he was face down on the hood of a car. So how did he get rid of what was likely the note he used when he allegedly robbed a bank? He ate it! Check it out: As reported at Ohio...

You Think It's Easy Carrying A Coffin Without Dropping It?

Posted on November 23, 2009
No doubt coffins are heavy. But it's probably easier to carry them when you are sober! As reported by The Local: Two sisters are claiming damages [20,000 kronor ($2,895 US] from a firm of funeral directors after their father's coffin was plunged ungracefully into a grave by undertakers unsteady on their feet...

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How About You Make Your Own Sandwich?

Posted on September 30, 2009
This is how you [allegedly] treat your disabled wife? Per the Worcester, Massachusetts Telegram: Wayne G. Prinsen, 50, of 5 Spring St., Spencer, was released on personal recognizance and ordered to stay away and have no contact with his wife in accordance with a restraining order...

Really? Armed Robbery For That?

Posted on September 29, 2009
I like animals too, but this is nuts. As reported by The Daily Telegraph: In one of Sydney's weirdest crimes, a young woman has been accused of pulling a gun on a dog owner at their home in a brazen attempt to steal a Chihuahua puppy after posing as a would-be buyer...

Busted For Acting Like Borat

Posted on September 28, 2009
Who knew a couple mankinis would cause such a fuss? As reported by the BBC: Two students who dressed up as the TV character Borat are at the centre of a row in Vietnam. The pair performed a dance act at a company party dressed as the spoof Kazakh journalist in his notoriously skimpy "mankini" swimming costume...

Hmm. Might Want To Holster That Finger Next Time

Posted on September 27, 2009
I don't think there's any doubt that Anthony Vakeva's bird-flipping days are over. In January 2005, Mr. Vakeva flipped off Mr. Blackwell at a red light. I'm guessing he would have thought twice about doing so had he known that Blackwell was a TRAINED AMATEUR BOXER (with a very short fuse...

Holy Roller?

Posted on September 26, 2009
Would you turn your kid into the police if you knew he was breaking the law? This mother answered "yes" as reported by The Sandusky Register: A 16-year-old boy who used a page from his Bible as a rolling paper for a marijuana joint was charged with drug possession, an Erie County sheriff deputy's report said...

Call The Police! Someone's Being Attacked!

Posted on September 25, 2009
Oh my god! Did you hear that screaming out back? I'm going to call the police! What did the police find? As reported in the Northern Territory News: Officers scrambled to respond to an emergency call from a woman who reported a possible attack when she heard someone "in distress" behind a fence about 6...

Police Officers Conducting Searching Having Wii Too Much Fun

Posted on September 24, 2009
Darn it! I went and gave it away, didn't I? If I asked you to guess what some of the members of Polk County's High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area task force were doing while their coworkers were executing a search warrant, you'd probably guess "playing a Wii" right? As reported by Florida's News Channel 8: With guns drawn and flashlights cutting through darkened rooms, Polk County undercover drug investigators stormed the home of convicted drug dealer Michael Difalco near Lakeland in March...

Can't A Guy Just Do His Laundry Without Being Arrested?

Posted on September 23, 2009
So what's the problem with a guy washing his pants at a laundromat? Um, he apparently didn't have any other pants to wear ... and was walking around bottomless. Per the Naples Daily News: Arresting Deputy Jeffrey S. Magner reported making contact with [Mr...

The Baby Name Police Strike Again

Posted on September 22, 2009
The name police, in addition to residing in Sweden, also reside in Australia. Today's installment involves a couple who wanted to name their child "Ned Kelly." If you're wondering why that name would be a problem, click here for more information on this notorious Australian...

Excuse Me. What Did You Just Call Me?

Posted on September 21, 2009
Um, a douchebag. Yeah, I'm sure I wouldn't be too thrilled if I were featured in a book called "Hot Chicks With Douchebags." As reported by RadarOnline, Mr. Michael Manelli was pissed enough to file a lawsuit against the publisher and Mr. Jay Louis, the author of the book and the creator of the website www...

The King Of Peeping Toms?

Posted on September 20, 2009
If the Guinness folks had a category for peeping toms, there is no doubt that this 46-year-old Canadian man would be in the book. (His name has not been released.) As reported at canada.com, he was arrested after "an apparent bungled break and enter...

Man Violates Parking Meter

Posted on September 19, 2009
So, not only did Adam Michael Kelly violate a parking meter, he also cussed out a police officer! Brilliant! As reported by The Cairns Post: Police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets on August 31 about 8.40pm and found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: "Yeah baby, you know you want it...

What? You Want Your Tip Back?

Posted on September 18, 2009
If you do a good job, you should get a good tip, right? Let's say you work for Notre Dame University's catering department, and you earn a tip of $29.87. Such was the case for Sara Gaspar. As luck would have it (good luck, initially - now, not so good), per The South Bend Tribune: ...

Seriously? I Can't Tip The Gravedigger?

Posted on September 17, 2009
Is there really a law that forbids you from tipping someone for good service? Yup. (Okay, technically it's a by-law that applies to city-owned cemeteries.) In Hamilton, Ontario, you are forbidden from tipping a cemetery worker! Really. Props to The Hamilton Spectator for digging this up (sorry!)...

You Expected To Get Away On That?

Posted on September 16, 2009
The Juice loves bicycles. He even commutes to work by bike. But if he were ever going to attempt a robbery, he wouldn't use a bicycle for the getaway! That's what James Lachenauer, Jr. is charged with. Incredibly, he wasn't caught on his bike. Per the South Florida Sun Sentinel: Police said Lachenauer was armed with a silver revolver and entered the Medication Station Pharmacy on Woolbright Road around 10:30 a...

Over A Pound Of Weed Gets You How Much Time?

Posted on September 15, 2009
That depends. In this case, the offender had 2 previous drug offenses. He also had hidden over a pound of weed in a washing machine. But, and this was a big "but" for the Judge, the offender is a high-achieving environmental scientist, as reported by The Cairns Post (Australia)...

Not The Best Way To Start The School Day

Posted on September 14, 2009
Back in the day, getting high in the back of the bus was something that happened when the bus driver hit a bump in the road. This was not the case with two Ohio boys who were busted recently, as reported in the South Side Neighborhood Watch at Akron...

Criminal Doctor Awarded Damages!

Posted on September 13, 2009
I will forever think of this case when I hear anything about the European Court of Human Rights. As reported by The Argus: [Hypnotherapist Imad Al-Khawaja] was convicted in 2004 of indecently assaulting two women, then aged 20 and 47, while they were hypnotised...

You Call That An Apology?

Posted on September 12, 2009
You may recall the case involving Nevada Judge George Assad, who jailed a guy's girlfriend until he showed up in court. Problem was, she hadn't done anything! (This innocent nurse had just come to court to explain that her boyfriend just started a new job, so he couldn't make it...

[Ex] Deputy Gave Prisoner A Sandwich That Had Been Rubbed Against ...

Posted on September 11, 2009
If you are among those who can look at a piece of bologna and still eat it, that may change after you read this. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch: [Ex-deputy] Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner's penis...

An ATM Withdrawal That Definitely Exceeded The Daily Maximum

Posted on September 10, 2009
Just how did 2 men in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania avoid the daily maximum withdrawal amount on the ATM at the Delaware County Memorial Hospital? They took the ATM! During visiting hours! Per myfoxfilly.com, it may have had up to $96,000 in it. The security tape above shows most of the heist...

McCurry Opens Can Of McWhoopass On McDonald's?

Posted on September 09, 2009
Maybe McDonald's has sold over 100 billion burgers, but McCurry (Malaysian Chicken Curry) wouldn't be intimidated. As reported by the BBC News: The American fast-food giant McDonald's has lost an eight-year legal battle to prevent a Malaysian restaurant calling itself McCurry...

So It's Okay To Invade Brittany Spears' Privacy?

Posted on September 08, 2009
Remember when a bunch of people at UCLA Medical Center snuck a peak at Brittany Spears' electronic medical records? No? I didn't either. Well they did. As reported by California Healthline: The Department of Public Health said 53 employees, including 14 doctors, at UCLA Medical Center breached Spears' records on two occasions...

You're Wearing Those For Your Community Service?

Posted on September 07, 2009
So this woman (no, that's not her, but could you resist using that picture?) crashed her car and refused a breathalyzer test. For her crime, she was sentenced to 80 hours of community service. Apparently nobody anticipated that she would show up for the community service in 4-inch heels...

Better Than Flying First Class?

Posted on September 06, 2009
Forget about flying first class. Men may soon be asking for "Martz" class. Why? Pilot Martz was flying a helicopter while receiving oral sex from a porn actress! How do we know this? It's on video! ("The video shows the woman disrobing before engaging Martz in a sex act while the San Diego landscape is passing by the [ahem] cockpit windows," as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune...

Naked Jogging Priest Says What?

Posted on September 05, 2009
Reverend Robert Whipkey was arrested in Frederick, Colorado for jogging naked (around the high school track) at 4:30 a.m. He was busted while walking home, still naked. So what was his defense to the indecent exposure charge? Per the Daily Camera: Whipkey?s attorney argued his client?s actions didn?t satisfy an element of the indecent-exposure law that requires proof he ?knowingly? exposed himself...

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