Law Humor

Comical Case Names Update

Posted on September 23, 2010
The Comical Case Names page has been updated with the following entry: 4 Exotic Dancers v. Spearmint Rhino and the Wild Goose, et al., No. CV 08-4038 ABC, 2009 WL 250054 (C.D. Cal. Jan. 29, 2009) (denying plaintiffs' motion for...

How Many Times Do I Have to Say It? Skulls Go in Checked Baggage

Posted on September 22, 2010
Those of you who have been to Greece may know that it is against the law to remove anything at all from the ancient sites there or take any relics out of the country. Also included in that prohibition: skulls....

Lautner Settles RV Lawsuit For Money After Declining Push-Up Contest

Posted on September 21, 2010
As I predicted, the lawsuit between Taylor Lautner and an RV dealership that allegedly failed to deliver his fancy trailer on time has been settled. Sadly, it was not settled by means of the push-up contest that dealership owner Brent...

"I'm Not Davy Crockett," Says Judge Accused by Limbaugh of Bear Murders

Posted on September 20, 2010
Rush Limbaugh told his listeners last week that liberals should be concerned about Judge Roger Vinson, a federal judge in Florida who is hearing a challenge to the health-care law passed earlier this year. Vinson was appointed by President Reagan,...

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Not Guilty by Reason of Caffeine

Posted on September 20, 2010
Reports today say that a 33-year-old Kentucky man will argue in his murder trial this week that he should be found not guilty of killing his wife because he was under the influence of caffeine at the time. Woody Smith's...

Starbuds

Posted on September 20, 2010
This was filed in May: Starbuds Cannabis Club Collective; Mark Gustely v. County of Sonoma, No. SCV247427 (filed May 24, 2010) Petition for writ of mandate. The defendant has forced the closure of a patients' marijuana collective, plaintiff Starbuds, where...

Nightmares About Your Job May Suggest You Need a New One, Says ABA

Posted on September 18, 2010
"Work Nightmares and Nausea on the Job Are Signs It's Time to Leave," reads the headline of this helpful item on the ABA Journal's website. No kidding? In other news: "Severe Pain and Flames on Your Skin May Be Signs...

Lawyer Sued After Delivering Belly Bump, Sucker Punch

Posted on September 17, 2010
The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports that an attorney who works with "The Heavy Hitter" Glen Lerner has been sued for allegedly hitting somebody in the face at a charity golf tournament. Brian Walsh alleges that associate Benjamin Lund "sucker punched"...

"The White One Wants My Flesh"

Posted on September 17, 2010
A minor dispute, but one that generated two excellent quotes. On September 16, a dog owner in Lafayette, Colorado (near Boulder) was ticketed after an altercation involving himself, his two dogs and a local cyclist. Peter West was walking his...

International House of Prayercakes

Posted on September 16, 2010
If I told you that IHOP was looking forward to the "great end-time harvest of souls," would you find someplace else to have breakfast? If so, then there might be something to the new lawsuit by IHOP against IHOP --...

Hoisting Suspect's Sagging Pants Not a "Search," Court Rules

Posted on September 15, 2010
It seems like only yesterday, and in fact it was only yesterday, that I was again lamenting the amount of energy wasted on the fight against sagging pants. I don't like low pants any more than you do, I just...

Georgia Town Enters Fight Against Sagging Pants

Posted on September 14, 2010
One of the continuing stupid issues I monitor here is the War on Sagging that still rages across this land. It seems like only yesterday, but was in fact two years ago, that a Florida judge struck down an anti-low-pants...

Banjo Wielded

Posted on September 14, 2010
I concede this one is at least slightly off-topic, but I'm going to post it anyway. It's breaking news from my hometown of Kansas City: Charges filed in Overland Park banjo self-defense case Police say the Monday banjo blow to...

Witch-Regulation Bill Fails to Pass in Romania

Posted on September 13, 2010
Romanian lawmaker Alin Popoviciu is blaming fear for the failure of a bill he sponsored that would have imposed new regulations and taxes on witches and fortune tellers. He claimed that the legislation had failed because lawmakers were afraid they...

Genghis Khan Causing Trouble Again

Posted on September 13, 2010
That's Genghis Khan of Brooklyn, New York, not the one from Mongolia. The Genghis Khan from Mongolia once controlled the largest land empire in history and caused untold destruction and possibly millions of deaths in the course of getting it....

Ninth Circuit Says First Amendment Protects the Right to Tattoo

Posted on September 10, 2010
Good news for those of you living within the Ninth Circuit -- your right to tattoo others has been held "fully protected by the First Amendment." In Anderson v. Hermosa Beach, decided September 9, the panel struck down a local...

Yet Another Reason Not to Wrestle Your Snake in the Parking Lot

Posted on September 10, 2010
The Associated Press reports that "[t]wo men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 meter) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police [in Melbourne] said Thursday." I don't think the diners...

UPDATE: Threatened "Lemonade Uprising" Underwhelms

Posted on September 08, 2010
August 26 was the day of the most recent Last Thursday festival in Portland, an informal gathering that attracts about 15,000 people a month. Tensions were expected to be high, or at least higher than usual, because of the incident...

Assorted Stupidity #5

Posted on September 07, 2010
Is Jersey Shore a RICO enterprise? Some plaintiffs think so, arguing that the show earns millions of dollars from racketeering based on criminal activities, such as when people get in fights. Lead attorney says Viacom's president is "the functional equivalent...

High-Risk Anti-Theft Strategy Pays Off

Posted on September 04, 2010
This is not a strategy that I can recommend, but it did work this time. When Russell Stuart heard his car start up in his driveway very early one morning, he realized it was being stolen and reacted immediately. "I...

Notice: Use of Propaganda as Toilet Paper Is Strictly Forbidden

Posted on September 03, 2010
This inscription, said to be on the wall of a public restroom somewhere in China, gives us a reason to be thankful for one of the few freedoms we have left. Translation: "Use of Party newspapers and magazines as toilet...

Photoshop Used to Simulate Political Endorsement, Temporarily

Posted on September 03, 2010
If you are running for office in Alabama, it would be great to have the endorsement of University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban. Having a picture of you and Coach Saban together would really go a long way. And...

One Wounded in Man-Bat Fracas

Posted on September 02, 2010
What is the world coming to when a man can't take the steps necessary to defend his home and family from mammalian invaders? Ask Cedric Newton of Maplewood, Minnesota, who was charged last week with reckless discharge of a firearm...

Lawsuit Alleges Failure to Warn That Nipple Jumpstart Might Be Dangerous

Posted on September 01, 2010
Seriously, people. Really? Last March, Kyle Dubois, 18, put an alligator clamp on one of his nipples, with a classmate placing the clamp on his other nipple, while a third classmate plugged the cord into the wall. ... Dubois's parents...

Assorted Stupidity #4

Posted on August 31, 2010
From the Department of Good Ideas: "Owner of Ohio killer bear isn't making safety fix," Associated Press (Aug. 23, 2010). What could happen? Another thing not to post on Facebook, if you are a juror: "Gonna be fun to tell...

Werewolf Declines Offer to Settle Lawsuit With Push-Up Contest

Posted on August 31, 2010
According to various sources, Twilight star Taylor Lautner, who apparently plays a werewolf or something like that, has refused an offer to settle a pending lawsuit by means of a contest to see who can do more push-ups. First of...

Burglar/Entrepreneur Breaks In, Holds Garage Sale

Posted on August 30, 2010
Police in Sarnia, Ontario, said they had arrested the man who broke into a home there in June and then spent the day holding a garage sale in which he sold off the owner's property. The homeowner, Greg Kemmis, was...

$38 Quadrillion Demand is Now World's Second Largest

Posted on August 26, 2010
Overlawyered reports, via the Provo Daily Herald, that a Las Vegas man is demanding 38 quadrillion dollars in a lawsuit that has something to do with a Utah mine. John Theodore Anderson, who also refers to himself more impressively as...

Leahy Wins Vermont Primary Despite Challenger's "Old Spice Guy" Ad

Posted on August 25, 2010
For those of you who have been wondering whether a professionally produced, well-acted, hilarious ad could help a political novice unseat a long-time Senate incumbent, the answer is that we still don't know. Despite this valiant effort by first-time candidate...

Nevada Legislator Proposes Bill on How to Pronounce "Nevada"

Posted on August 24, 2010
The Nevada legislature has started planning for its next legislative session, scheduled to begin in February 2010. Currently, legislators are submitting "bill draft requests" for bills that they plan to introduce in the new session, and the one attracting the...

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