Law Humor

Man Who Sued God Appears in Earthly Court

Posted on August 11, 2008
On August 5, Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers appeared in court to pursue his lawsuit against God. Chambers sued God in 2007, saying he was trying to make a point that anyone could file a lawsuit. "Anybody can file a...

Pets Too Sexy For Saudi Arabia, Say Religious Police

Posted on August 10, 2008
Are there any two words as comforting as "religious police"? Doubtful. Especially if they follow the words "Saudi Arabia's." Saudi Arabia's religious police, also known by the even more comforting title "The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the...

UPDATE: More Details Emerge in Cloned-Dog-Mormon-Attack Case

Posted on August 09, 2008
I admit I was a little worried about at least some of the details of the McKinney story I reported on the other day. The London Times is a reputable source, and most of the story, of course, like the...

ACLU Says It Will Go To Bat For Mullets If Necessary

Posted on August 08, 2008
Last week I reported (again) on the continuing battle to secure the homeland against the threat of sagging pants, a battle that had flared up in Flint, Michigan, where Chief David Dicks announced that disorderly conduct/indecent exposure laws would be...

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Cloned-Dog Owner Denies She is Actually Mormon Sex Kidnapper

Posted on August 07, 2008
Here's the kind of lead-in sentence that you see almost every day: The woman who had her pet dog cloned by South Korean scientists flatly denied early Thursday that she was a bail jumper accused of sexually assaulting and kidnapping...

Teen Threatened With Haircut Stabs Father With Minature Sword

Posted on August 07, 2008
I think that is a slight improvement over the original headline, but not by much. According to reports, a 15-year-old Florida boy stabbed his father in the hand with a "miniature sword" because the man repeatedly threatened to give his...

WHEREAS, You Acted Like a Jerk In Court

Posted on August 06, 2008
WHEREAS, on the dates set out below, in the presence of Judge Thomas Mountjoy of the Court of Greene County, Missouri, attorney Carlos Dupree Romious, aka D. Carlos Romious, did do the following stupid things, among others: On June 16,...

Stormtrooper-Copyright Battle Will Have Sequel

Posted on August 05, 2008
Back in April we learned that George Lucas was trying to solidify his control over the Star Wars universe by suing the guy who designed the stormtrooper costumes for the original film. Andrew Ainsworth had been selling replicas of the...

Tip of the Day: 911 Is Not For Sandwich Complaints

Posted on August 04, 2008
Sources reported on August 4 that a Jacksonville man was arrested last week after he called 911 to report that his Subway sandwiches had not been made correctly. Seeking extra bonus points, he called it a second time to complain...

Panic, Heroism Reportedly on Display During California Bar Exam

Posted on August 01, 2008
A source who was taking the California Bar Exam on July 29, when the session was presented in Sensurround, reports scenes of both abject fear and valiant heroism among the attorneys-to-be at the Ontario test site, arguably closest to the...

Lexis/Nexis Used to Screen Out DOJ Candidates on Political Grounds

Posted on August 01, 2008
Greg Mitchell of Legal Pad has had some time to scan the 140-page report on the DOJ investigation into whether the White House illegally used political criteria to disqualify candidates for career positions at Justice. (It's not against the law...

Latest Low-Pants Ban: Lynwood, Illinois

Posted on August 01, 2008
The city council of Lynwood, Illinois, a Chicago suburb, is the latest to join the crusade against sagging pants. Reports said that the new city ordinance would impose a $35 fine on anyone found to be showing more than three...

Request for Grey Poupon Has Unexpected Result

Posted on July 31, 2008
It appears that a driver's request for a bit of Grey Poupon was rather rudely rejected on June 18, according to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun. Most likely, the request was made in fond remembrance of the famous commercials...

"Torture Memo" Author Detained in Oakland

Posted on July 30, 2008
He was "detained" only because of a mechanical problem with a plane on which he had hoped to fly to the Ninth Circuit conference in Sun Valley, Idaho. But former deputy AG and "torture memo" author John Yoo's failure to...

If There Is An Earthquake While You Are Taking the Bar Exam, Do You Get Extra Time?

Posted on July 29, 2008
If you think the answer to that might be yes, you are probably going to fail anyway. Some of those enjoying Day One of the California bar exam, which is otherwise a walk in the park, were rudely interrupted today...

Lawn Boy Murdered

Posted on July 28, 2008
"I can do that [if I want to]," Keith Walendowski told police after he shot his lawn mower to death. "It's my lawn mower and my yard," he said, "so I can shoot it if I want." The mower's fatal...

Minneapolis Firm Offers "Lawyer Job Interview Translator"

Posted on July 25, 2008
Nicole Brown of Legal Antics reports that Halleland Lewis Nilan & Johnson, a Minneapolis law firm, has produced a new recruiting tool that is worth checking out. The "Lawyer Job Interview Translator" features a senior-partner type answering standard recruiting questions...

50 Cent Sues Taco Bell Over Value-Menu Promotion

Posted on July 25, 2008
Rapper 50 Cent, also known as Curtis Jackson, has sued Taco Bell and its advertising agency, accusing them of using his name and reputation without permission for its "Why Pay More" promotion, which offers items for 79, 89, or 99...

New Zealand Family Court Judge Says No to Stupid Names

Posted on July 24, 2008
A family court judge in New Zealand has taken a stand against parents who saddle their children with goofy names, which seem to be fairly common, at least per capita, in that country. Judge Rob Murfitt ordered that a nine-year-old...

SF Voters to Decide Whether to Name Sewage Plant after President

Posted on July 24, 2008
This November, among the important issues that San Francisco voters will be asked to decide is whether to rename a city sewage plant in honor of President Bush. The measure qualified for the ballot on July 7 after organizers turned...

Taser Caper Results in Prison for Father-Son Team

Posted on July 22, 2008
On June 20, Paul Crowell of Waukesha, Wisconsin, was sentenced to two years in prison after pleading guilty to "possession of an electric weapon," namely a Taser that he had stolen from a police officer. Crowell's father has pleaded guilty...

Police Believe Rhode Island Man May Have Set New Blood-Alcohol Record

Posted on July 22, 2008
State police in Rhode Island, said that a man they arrested early on July 22 may be the new holder of the state record for highest blood-alcohol content: .491. They clarified that this was believed to be the highest ever...

UPDATE: Police Chief Says Low Pants Are Probable Cause for Search

Posted on July 18, 2008
It appears that Chief of Police David Dicks is still pursuing his campaign to keep pants from sagging in Flint, Michigan, as he announced back on June 25. Dicks described the wearing of low pants as "immoral self-expression" (which makes...

Partner Strips at Press Conference to Show Detainee Mistreatment

Posted on July 18, 2008
I have the utmost respect for the work David Remes, a partner at Covington & Burling, is doing in defense of detainees at Guantanamo. And I think the strategy of dramatically illustrating how they are mistreated is not a bad...

Gay Italian Wins Lawsuit for Driving-Test Discrimination

Posted on July 16, 2008
A 26-year-old Italian man who was told he had to retake a driving test because he is homosexual has been awarded $150,000 in damages. A court in Sicily ruled that the government agencies involved had discriminated against Danilo Giuffrida after...

Poorly Faked Heart Attack Fails to Result in Mistrial

Posted on July 16, 2008
This story shows the importance of proper training before appearing in a courtroom, even (well, especially) if one has decided to represent oneself. And depending on the strategy, acting lessons may be a good idea. Keison Wilkins may have thought...

UPDATE: Church Answers Lawsuit of Fallen Man

Posted on July 15, 2008
We learned last month about the Knoxville man who sued his church claiming he had been injured in a fall caused by the holy spirit. (It wasn't capitalized in the complaint). Matthew Lincoln did not blame the spirit, however (let...

German Legislation Would Give Infants Right to Vote

Posted on July 10, 2008
In what appears to be a true story and not one found in The Onion, sources report that a bill introduced in the German parliament would lower the voting age to zero. A spokesman for German embryos and fetuses said...

Book Review: "Lawyer Boy" by Rick Lax

Posted on July 08, 2008
Rick Lax sent me a pre-publication copy of his new book, "Lawyer Boy," which was released today (July 8). After reading it, I first considered hunting him down in order to eliminate further competition in the legal-humor department, but decided...

Rule 8 Invoked Against 465-Page Complaint

Posted on July 08, 2008
Rarely granted is the Motion for More Definite Statement under Federal Rule 8(a), which requires complaints to contain "a short and plain statement of the claim" being made. But now we know it is appropriate at least where a plaintiff...

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