Miscellaneous

Public transportation does not a good wheelman make

Posted on January 30, 2008
Channel Monae Gaskin (awesome name!) pulled off a bank robbery that netted her a big ol' bag of cash. Unfortunately, Gaskin didn't have an accomplice waiting to drive her off for the quick getaway. So after dealing with a dye bomb that exploded all over her, Gaskin mosied on over to a nearby bus stop and hung out waiting for the next local to arrive...

Gimme Mitt Romney for the Red, White, and Blue!

Posted on January 30, 2008
We get a bad reputation on this site for being a couple of liberal punks, so today, it's my pleasure to present this tribute to Mitt Romney. Choke on the earnestness, bitches.

Did the Punishment Fit the Crime?

Posted on January 30, 2008
According to Examiner.com, a California sheriff's deputy shot a man with a Taser gun "for allegedly riding his bike at night without proper lighting." Well, that's about right. I understand you can also get the death penalty for failing to signal before making a turn and tortured to death for riding on the sidewalk...

The FAA ... we love 'em!

Posted on January 29, 2008
Folsom, Pennsylvania is about a half-hour southwest of Philly, and pretty close to Philly's International Airport (and not too far from where yours truly growed up). And that's where Michael Hall and his girlfriend live (and she's got a great name - Michaelene Buddy!)...

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Knight to rook 4? Knight to rook 4?! There's no reason to live!!!!

Posted on January 29, 2008
From the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review: A drunken chess game turned dangerous Wednesday night when one of the participants threatened to kill himself, grabbed a handgun and fired it, authorities said. Greensburg police said Zachary J. Lucov and Dennis Kleyn were playing chess about 11:40 p...

Uhm ... ew?

Posted on January 29, 2008
Nineteen-year-old Ronnie A. Ballard is a real winner: Repeated discoveries of human feces in clothing and other items left in an apartment building's basement laundry room led to charges Thursday against a 19-year-old man. Authorities said Ronnie A...

There's Always Room for ... Ah, Screw It

Posted on January 29, 2008
A Manhattan judge had the common sense this week to toss out a lawsuit brought by a NYU student who broke his hip at a Jell-O wrestling party. Avram Wisnia was an NYU junior in 2004 when he and his dorm mates organized a party called "Beach Bash." While horsing around a kiddie pool filled with gelatin, Wisnia was pushed and shattered his hip, his lawsuit said...

Menacing, Isn't He?

Posted on January 29, 2008
I'd hate to see what they do to this guy -- who was arrested for suspicion of drug dealing and gunning down two men last month -- in prison. What kind of drug-dealing, murderer gets pulled over and arrested while he's wearing fuzzy lion's slippers? I bet he's the cuddly type of killer...

Where a Kid Can Be Blinded

Posted on January 29, 2008
Police aren't sure what sparked a brawl among 80 people Saturday night at Chuck E Cheese in Flint, Michigan. The first call came in at 8:53 p.m. concerning a fight among three teenage girls at the pizza parlor. A Genesee County Sheriff's paramedic and state troopers quickly got the fight under control, and canceled other officers headed that way to back them up...

The Daily Memo - 1/29/08

Posted on January 29, 2008
Looking back on Roe v. Wade thirty-five years later. (Salon) "Cheney wants surveillance law expanded." I'm shocked. Shocked I say. (FindLaw) Of reptile orifices and trademark art. Yes, orifices. (The Trademark Blog) See, e.g., the case of Annie Hall...

Ctrl-alt-delete

Posted on January 29, 2008
Marie Cooley was flipping through a newspaper one day when she happened upon the classified ads. And lo and behold if she didn't see a job listing that sounded an awful lot like her job. "Shenanigans," she thought to herself. "Them sons of bitches are going to fire me...

But ?Eradicated? Could Mean So Many Things

Posted on January 28, 2008
Hey! Craigslist is not just for selling your used baby cribs or prostituting yourself anymore. Now, you can hire yourself a killer. A Michigan woman is behind bars and facing extradition to Northern California, where FBI agents said she advertised on Craigslist for someone willing to kill the unsuspecting wife of a man she'd begun an affair with online...

Irony Lives On

Posted on January 28, 2008
Two vampire-loving lesbians kissed over a British girl?s semi-naked body after beating her to death with a rock, a court heard yesterday. Jessica Stasinowsky, 20, and Valerie Parashumti, 19, giggled in court in Perth, Western Australia, at a pre-sentence hearing...

The Daily Memo - 1/28/08

Posted on January 28, 2008
So trying to kill time in a courtroom by reading Maxim magazine is now contempt of court? Absolutely fucking ridiculous. (Concurring Opinions and WSJ Law Blog) Reason number 728 to avoid Virginia - it's been illegal to serve authentic sangria in that state for over 70 years...

Man, I need to go practice British law

Posted on January 28, 2008
The always entertaining GeekLawyer has shared the following wonderful quote with us all. He says that when he's "faced with the inept decision of a court," the following remedy is the path to follow: Punch your opponent in the gut so that he doubles over in pain...

It's the dope-a-rope defense!

Posted on January 28, 2008
Up in Portland, Maine, Margie Dunson was facing up to 20 years in the clink for an elevated aggravated assault charge. Dunson is a former boxer who held the welterweight title in '77 and '78. But last year, she was watching the Super Bowl at her house along with John Jackson, and the two got into an argument...

Stop the presses!!!

Posted on January 28, 2008
Hey kids, Dustin and I are back in our respective towns (or at least, I am -- Dustin hit some air snafus and may not be quite home yet). And in answer to three elle's comment, one of us is, in fact, Jewish [I raise my hand over my hook nose], but Jewish guilt stopped working on me a long time ago...

Oh, irony, thy art a cruel mistress...

Posted on January 25, 2008
See this magazine cover? It is from Blackhawk Technical College's recent magazine-style advertisement. Take a good look. For some reason, nearby residents of Janesville, Wi were up in arms about said cover. This is why: The cover featured two smiling adults and two children...

Brilliant

Posted on January 25, 2008
Hey Roy, so I got an idea. You know those new license stickers we're supposed to give to the fishermen, for them to stick on their boats? Yeah, right. So after doing absolutely no research whatsoever, I decided to go with these stickers which disintegrate in salt water...

Fill 'er up!

Posted on January 24, 2008
Okay, I feel pretty bad about the downer story from before, especially since the actual lawyers aren't around and you are stuck with me until the weekend. So maybe I can rummage around in my bin of weird-ass news items to make up for it. Ah, here is something...

Motherfuckers....

Posted on January 24, 2008
I had a feeling in my gut this would happen, but I actually held out hope.... I am sure most of you readers are familiar with the ridiculous antics of Fred Phelps and the loonies at the Westboro Baptist Church. In an effort to both spread their filth and blatantly exploit a celebrity's death, they intend on protesting at Heath Ledger's funeral, due to his role in Brokeback Mountain...

Sometimes an eye-for-an-eye isn't such a bad thing

Posted on January 24, 2008
A New York woman has been charged with punishing her 7-year-old son by putting him in a hot oven. The punishment was over the son's heinous crime of losing his mom's cell phone. He was burnt on his arms, hand, nose and leg. And although a day care provider noticed the burns, she didn't fulfill her legal duty to report the incident, so she's also been brought up on charges...

Who's That White Dude? Damn: He's Hip.

Posted on January 23, 2008

Remember that Time that Old Lady Ran over Herself?

Posted on January 23, 2008
This story is actually from last year, but it warrants mention because, really, how often does a woman run over her own legs in a McDonald's drive-thru Lane? The Phoenixville Police Department is investigating a freak accident in which a borough woman ran over both of her legs in the drive-through lane at McDonald's Friday afternoon...

Shhhhhh ... be vewy vewy quiet

Posted on January 23, 2008
To all two dozen of our faithful QuizLaw readers, just wanted to give you a heads up that things are going to be relatively quiet here for the rest of the week. There may be a post here and there from Dustin or I, but don't expect much. For instance, no more Daily Memos until next week...

Popcorn lung?

Posted on January 23, 2008
A Denver-area man has filed a lawsuit against the Kroger chain of grocery stores. Seems that Wayne Watson is a lover of the microwave popcorn. And he claims that his regular intake of the tasty treat and, in particular, its butter flavoring, has given him popcorn lung...

What? The Motherfucker's Tired

Posted on January 22, 2008
Keep your eye on Bill Clinton in this video during a Martin Luther King, Jr. service. Looks like he's taking MLK's "I have a dream" to its literal extreme.

Supersize This!

Posted on January 22, 2008
A McDonald's fry cook is suing Morgan Spurlock, claiming his documentary, Super Size Me, defamed her. Former McDonald's employee Evelyn Candelaria is suing in Brooklyn Supreme Court, alleging her self-esteem and reputation were damaged by her appearance in Spurlock's 2004 documentary film, the New York Post reported Sunday...

The Daily Memo - 1/22/08

Posted on January 22, 2008
Blawg Review #143 is a special MLK version (sure, this link is a day late, but I don't hear him complaining, so neither should you). (Public Defender Stuff) "A man was arrested Tuesday for walking on a highway with a 14-foot python wrapped around his body, police said...

We like-ah the sex!

Posted on January 22, 2008
Well who doesn't like amateur sex tapes? Rome's highest appeals acquitted a 49-year-old man who, unbeknown to his girlfriend, had recorded and kept films of them having sex. It overruled two previous verdicts which had given him a four-month jail sentence...

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