Miscellaneous

Larry Flynt has his finger on the pulse. Wait a minute, that's not her pulse!

Posted on October 06, 2008
Remember that Craigslist ad seeking a Sarah Palin lookalike for a porn. Well it's full porn ahead, as Larry Flynt's Hustler Video is shooting "Nailin' Paylin" with a plan to release it before the election. According to The Huffington Post:...

The things we'll do just to get that little sticker

Posted on October 03, 2008

Man Unable to Blow Load Blows Arm Off Instead

Posted on October 03, 2008
Seriously: What's the worst you ever overreacted when your loved one wouldn't put out? I bet you can't beat this guy, who shot his own arm. The Lee County Sheriff's Office reports that 29-year-old Jonathon Guabello and his girlfriend returned...

Last Night's Best Moment

Posted on October 03, 2008
I'll just say this about the debate, because it looks like the bailout will dominate the political scene today, and Palin and Biden will likely be complete non-factors for the rest of the election: I wasn't nearly as surprised...

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I Knew It! I Knew It! (Part II)

Posted on October 03, 2008
Fantasy football stereotypes are true! A 35-year-old man was arrested Monday morning after he allegedly became upset over points in his Fantasy Football league and threatened to kill his roommate. According to a report from the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office,...

I Knew It! I Knew It!

Posted on October 03, 2008
Comic-book stereotypes are true! A Japanese woman addicted to comics reportedly turned to the Internet to look for someone to kill her parents, after they asked her to clear out her cartoon-filled room. News reports say the 36-year-old woman -...

Today in C*nt Punditry

Posted on October 02, 2008
From your very own GOP candidate for the President of the United States: Sen. John McCain said Thursday that Sen. Barack Obama's poll numbers are rising as the economy seems to sink "because life isn't fair." "He certainly did nothing...

Moooooooove outta my way cause I gotta catch them kids!

Posted on October 02, 2008
Well here's something you don't see everyday. It's one thing to talk about a woman hanging out in a cow suit. It's another to talk about that same woman taking a leak on her neighbor's porch. While still wearing the...

Predicting tonight's VP debate

Posted on October 02, 2008
It's gonna be a ... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, that's right:...

The Daily Memo - 10/2/08

Posted on October 02, 2008
Nancy Pelosi loves her husband so much that she gives him a bunch of money from her political action committee, even though she supported legislation against just such shenanigans. Hypocrisy much? (The Washington Times) Schnikey! $4.3 million in sanctions is...

And the hits just keep on comin'!

Posted on October 02, 2008

Maybe they're for a really big Tupperware party?

Posted on October 02, 2008
Hey, folks. Been a while since you saw the usually-absent non-lawyer around these parts huh? Yeah, well I am working on that. Meanwhile, there is like, a crapload of plastic coffins just sitting outside of Atlanta? And they are kinda...

Drunks say the darndest things

Posted on October 02, 2008
So a state trooper pulls a swerving car over at 2 a.m. Driver be drunk. Blood-alcohol level 0.22 drunk. Trooper ask for ID. Drunk man pulls out wallet. Trooper examines driver's license. White powder falls out of a crumpled $100...

Utah Bans Fruity Drinks

Posted on October 01, 2008
Utah's Mormon-backed legislature has banned fruity alcohol drinks: Utah's supply of flavored malt beverages will likely be exhausted in a few weeks as manufacturers decide whether to comply with labeling rules intended to make it clear the products contain alcohol...

It's not like we're talking about "I'm a Little Teacup" here or anything...

Posted on October 01, 2008
Over in the UK, poor Gino Lee Breeze has been sentenced to three years in the clink for assault. Just because he asked a guy to sing "Baa Baa Black Sheep." Well ok. So maybe he broke into the guys...

Adolescents Drinking the Obama Kool-Aid

Posted on October 01, 2008
Is this some sick joke? A bunch of kids, no doubt brainwashed by the DNC, have been forced probably against their will to sing unicorn songs about Barack Obama and hope and change. They are practically shitting rainbows. Why...

The Daily Memo - 10/1/08

Posted on October 01, 2008
With all the financial system collapse business, I didn't even know they appointed a special prosecutor to look into the US Attorney firing debacle. (Slate) A court in India decided to split the baby regarding Mattel's Scrabulous lawsuit. (Likelihood of...

Obama Might Just Win this Goddamn Election

Posted on October 01, 2008
There's a ton of good news out there if you're an Obama supporter. The national polls show Obama is up anywhere from 2 to 10 points, depending on which poll you look at. A poll of polls puts Obama up...

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Posted on October 01, 2008
Michael Gordon Fernandes has been arrested because he and an unknown man stole some water. Five truckloads of the stuff. Seems the duo snatched five trucks of bottled water from a shipping center over the course of a month-and-a-half, amounting...

Oh for fuck's sake...

Posted on October 01, 2008
Yesterday morning, McCain said that he might suspend his campaign again because of our financial woes. It wasn't a political stunt then, and it wouldn't be this time. No sir. It's all because Obama wants to tax our unborn children....

Awwww, look at grandpa' sticking up for Sarah!

Posted on September 30, 2008

God damn it!

Posted on September 30, 2008
Sarah Palin was running around in Philly in a McNabb jersey and the Eagles suffer a gut-wrenching loss to da' Bears on Sunday night. Coincidence? I think not. Stop fucking with my team, lady!...

Dude, it's simple math -- just wash the fucking dishes

Posted on September 30, 2008
If your girlfriend is batshit crazy and asks you to do the dishes. You do them. Simple equation really: fucking nuts + request to do chore = done and done Because if you change the equation ever so slightly, you...

Silly Cinema Goer Sues Over Unpopped Popcorn

Posted on September 30, 2008
Awwww. Did the poor little frivolous litigant hurt his wittle toof? Insurance broker Steve Kaplan says he encountered a double dud while watching the movie "Superbad" at the AMC-Lincoln Square Cinema a year ago: His tooth hurt and the movie...

Damnit. Show Us the Clip! Show Us the Clip!

Posted on September 30, 2008
I don't know why the conservatives are always railing against the media elite and claiming liberal bias when stuff like this happens. Apparently, there is unaired footage of the Couric/Palin interview that was too awful to show on TV. I...

Douchebag Republican Offers Lamest Reason Yet to Vote for McCain

Posted on September 30, 2008
For reasons that's aren't clear to me, The National Review Online published a letter from a reader, which supposedly presents why Obama's tax increases on the wealthy are bad for America. The letter reads, in part: Just thought I'd send...

The Daily Memo - 9/30/08

Posted on September 30, 2008
Well if Judges are going to get in trouble for cursing from the bench, maybe I just won't be a fucking judge. (Law.com) Turns out law degrees are still a good value, if you manage to score a high-paying firm...

Let's Decide this Once and For All ...

Posted on September 29, 2008
In the clip above (around the one minute mark), does John McCain actually say "horseshit"? It looks kind of like it, and it sounds kind of like it. But, surely he wouldn't. Or would he? Let's just pretend he...

Well, Sex Can Be a Religious Experience

Posted on September 29, 2008
A man charged with running a massage parlor/brothel disguised as a church, has come up with a fairly clever defense: Freedom of Religion. In his latest court argument, the Tucson man says he hired women at Angel's Heaven Relaxation Spa...

What Would Happen if Disney Made a Movie about Sarah Palin?

Posted on September 29, 2008
See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor....

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