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Legal Commentary

Res ipsa loquitur Res ipsa loquitur

Commentary by Jonathan Turley. ("The thing itself speaks")
By Jonathan Turley

Post Frequency: 85.9/day

Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 14:49:11

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Crying Foul: Man Sexually Assaults Chickens on Television to Attract Women

Posted on December 15, 2008
Nothing like a German to teach one how to woo a woman. A bachelor farmer and nudist named Hansi has sexually assaulted chickens on live TV to impress possible female companions. PETA and animal rights activists are crying foul. Hansi is 71, but participated in a TV program where men tried to get female [...


Elvis Ministers But No Atheists Allowed: Las Vegas Refuses to Allow Atheists to Perform Weddings

Posted on December 15, 2008
In Las Vegas, you can have an Elvis impersonator or a Liberace look alike marry you. You can have a shotgun wedding or a drive through divorce. However, if you want an atheist to marry you, you better get out of town. Sin City has not tolerance for atheists who want to [...


Hold the Mercy: Man Shot In Chinese Carryout As Teens Laugh and Restaurant Refuses His Pleas for Assistance

Posted on December 15, 2008
Baltimore is outraged over the video below showing two teenage girls laughing as a man is robbed and then shot at a Chinese carryout. After Darren Brown and David Jefferson (both 17) shot the man, the carryout reportedly did nothing to help him, refused to let him behind the counter for protection, and continued [...


Shoe Bomber: Bush Attacked in Green Zone by Reporter

Posted on December 14, 2008
In a bizarre moment, President George Bushes surprise visit to the Green Zone was met with an even more surprising shoe attack from an Iraqi journalist, TV reporter Muntazer al-Zaidi . As shown on this video, the President proved pretty nimble in dodging the shoes (dodging congressional subpoenas may have been good training)...


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The Deepest Cut of All: New York Man Sues Over Publication Saying That He Was Not Circumcised

Posted on December 14, 2008
There is an interesting defamation case developing in New York where John F. Singer is suing Centropa (the Central Europe Center for Research and Documentation), an oral history project based in Europe. Centropa published a study in 2005 that quoted Singer’s mother as saying that he was not circumcised as an infant...


Evangelicals Outraged Over Bush?s Views That Non-Christians Can Get to Heaven and Bible Not Literally True

Posted on December 14, 2008
Now, he tells us. After years to intermingling religion and politics, President George Bush has shocked his hard religious right base by admitting that he does not believe the Bible is literally true and that people can get to Heaven through other religions...


Sklars Lose Case Involving Scientology Tax Exemptions

Posted on December 14, 2008
The Sklar litigation relating to the Church of Scientology was delivered another blow by the Ninth Circuit. Marla and Michael Sklar have been waging a rather lonely battle for 15 years to claim tax deductions for a portion of the tuition they pay to Jewish schools attended by their children...


The Turley Armada Rules The Waves

Posted on December 14, 2008
Fair winds and following seas carried the Turley armada to victory yesterday in the Cub Scout Regata. While Winston Churchill may have attributed the British tradition and success to “rum, sodomy and the lash,” the Turley navy is based entirely on spray paint, Crazy glue, and the knife...


Free Speech Rights and Wrongs in Walla Walla: School Officials Crack Down on Inappropriate Bumper Stickers on Cars of Students

Posted on December 13, 2008
School officials continue to expand their oversight over non-school activities and speech of their students. Walla Walla Public Schools Superintendent Richard Carter and Walla Walla High School Principal Darcy Weisner have cracked down on a naughty bumper stickers by students...


Town Moves to Take Away Disabled Kids? Pony ? Then Backs Down

Posted on December 13, 2008
As a three-year-old with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy, one would think that people might cut Sam Spiteri a bit of slack. But a neighbor still dropped a dime on Sam to tell them that he was keeping a miniature pony — his pride and joy — in violation of city rules...


Urine A Lot of Trouble: Minnesota Man Sprays Teens with Fox Urine

Posted on December 13, 2008
Now, this is what you call a case of first impression. In Willmar, Minnnesota, Scott Wagar, 50, was upset with kids toilet-papering his house in that common homecoming adolescent practice. He decided, therefore, to spray them with . . . . fox urine...


Amber Alert: Homeowner Finds Woman Plastered on Roof

Posted on December 13, 2008
Like any home owner, Kirk Taggert may have expected a wayward cat or nesting sparrows on the roof of his home in Fort Pierce, Florida. Indeed, he came home Wednesday night to find Amber Smith, 28, on his roof drunk. When he confronted her, she reportedly said that she would only leave if [...


The Curse of the Queen of Scots: Actor Mistakingly Slits His Own Throat With Use of Real Knife in Play

Posted on December 13, 2008
The audience were thrilled and applauded loudly at the life-like scene of Daniel Hoevels, 30, slitting his throat during the performance of Mary Stuart at Vienna’s acclaimed Burgtheater theater. The problem is that it was real. Hoevels, who staggered around the stage and then collapsed, had used a real knife by mistake...


New Terrorist Watch List: Al Qaeda, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Shining Path . . . Humane Society of the United States

Posted on December 12, 2008
It appears that officers of the Humane Society of the United States may be caged themselves at Gitmo. This week, the Center for Consumer Freedom ran a huge ad in the New York Times accusing the Humane Society of the United States of helping an animal-rights terrorism group raise money...


Creationist Movement Goes Muslim

Posted on December 12, 2008
During a very different decade, the Muslim community has at least not had to deal with religious extremists who deny evolution and seek to distort scientific courses. Indeed, Muslim countries have a good record on scientific training and research. Now, a creationist movement has formed among extreme Muslim that mirrors our own Evangelical [...


Elder?s Law: Demented 91-Year Old Found Competent to Stand Trial

Posted on December 12, 2008
Superior Court Judge James Orlando of Pierce County, Washington has ruled that a 91-year-old man with proven dementia and a delusion disorder is still competent to stand trial for murder. Orlando held that competency is a “fairly low standard” that does not appear to exclude demented defendants like Joe Conway Elder...


Ex-New York Judge Thomas Spargo Indicted

Posted on December 12, 2008
New York Judge Thomas Spargo has been indicted for attempted extortion and attempted bribery. A former Albany County Judge, Spargo is accused of pressuring an Ulster County lawyer to give him $10,000 in 2003 and he was forced from the bench in 2006. The New York Commission on Judicial Conduct previously found that [...


I Am A Camera: New Hampshire Supreme Court Overturns Prostitution Conviction for Adult Movie Maker

Posted on December 11, 2008
There is another interesting case to emerge from the New Hampshire Supreme Court. A former district court bailiff, Robert Theriault, 51, was charged with prostitution after offering a couple $50 to allow him to videotape them having sex. The Court ruled in the opinion below that the state could not prosecute him for [...


Video: Officer Tasers Himself After Car Chase

Posted on December 11, 2008
A Dallas police officer has achieved a certain fame after the video below captures him tasering himself after a chase with a suspected car thief. The chase started in Dallas and ended in South Irving. It is not clear whether it was an accidental discharge or whether the officer was trying to use the taser...


Battle of the Billboards

Posted on December 11, 2008
The atheist billboard reading “Imagine No Religion” has been taken down shortly after it was put up in Rancho Cucamonga, California. There were 90 complaints and the city demanded its removal and the General Outdoor company was more than willing to comply...


KFC Moments: Kentucky Fried Chicken Suspended for Bathing in Kitchen Sinks

Posted on December 11, 2008
It appears that bathing in KFC sinks is no longer offered in Anderson, California. Three employees posted pictures frolicking in the sinks under captions like “haha KFC showers!” and “haha we turned on the jets.” Those “KFC Moments” are now over after they were given pink slips...


Santa Attacked by Bobcat in New Jersey

Posted on December 11, 2008
Ok, Benny is half house cat and half bobcat. The Kringlephobic cat bit Santa (aka Jonathan Bebbington) at a charity event in Hamilton Township, N.J. and he was about to get rabies shots when the cat’s owner, Christine Haughey appeared with vaccination records — a made it back on the nice list...


Ashcroft ?Stunned? People Think Detainees Deserve Due Process

Posted on December 11, 2008
Just when the nightmare of John Ashcroft has receded in many minds, he’s back to remind us how we became an international pariah for our abandonment of fundamental legal principles and why the Supreme Court and other courts have ruled repeatedly against the Bush Administration...


Get the Red Out: Australian Government Moves Against Use of Red Pens by Teachers

Posted on December 10, 2008
Teachers are being asked to avoid using red pens to mark homework as “too aggressive” and potentially harmful to students social and emotional wellbeing. The recommendation is contained in the government’s “Good Mental Health Rocks” kit — telling teachers “don’t mark in red pen (which can be seen as aggressive) - use a [...


The ?P? Stands for Pot: Drug Dealers Using Fake UPS Trucks

Posted on December 10, 2008
You might want to be a bit careful giving your overnight to the UPS guy at the corner. Police in the Arizona Department of Public Safety officials seised 2,118 pounds of 2,118 pounds of marijuana from a fake UPS truck. It brings a new meaning to the slogan, “What Can Brown Do [...


Man Goes Into Diabetic Shock . . . Police Taser Him

Posted on December 10, 2008
The taser abuse stories continue to roll in. In the most recent case out of El Reno, Oklahoma, police stopped a driver who appeared uncooperative in getting out of the truck. They tasered him only to learn later that he was in diabetic shock. As shown on the video, the man was wrestled out [...


Photoshop Porn: Virginia Man Arrested for Computer-Generated Pictures Using Picture of Real Girl Engaged in Fake Sex Act

Posted on December 10, 2008
There could be a major criminal case emerging from Lynchburg, Virginia where prosecutors have charged Ronald Wojdyla, 57, with child pornography for superimposing his picture over a picture of an 11-year-old girl. It is a continuation of the debate over computer-generated porn, though in this case it is a real girl — only [...


Student Disciplined for Spiking Brownies Then Testing Reveals That They Contain . . . Brownies

Posted on December 10, 2008
Three students at the Chapin High School in El Paso, Texas seems to have fallen under the Red Queen of Hearts rule of “Sentence first?verdict afterwards.” Three high school students were disciplined after they were accused of lacing brownies with laxatives — and later confessed under investigation by the school...


Disgraced Federal Prosecutor Seeks to Punish Detroit Press Reporter

Posted on December 10, 2008
Ex-federal prosecutor Richard Convertino was hammered by a federal judge for his allegedly unethical conduct in the Detroit terrorism case and investigated by the Justice Department for his misconduct. However, Convertino is now moving against Detroit Free Press reporter David Ashenfelter who has refused to disclose the sources underlying his true story that Convertino [...


Registering Ricky: Teen Posted as Sex Offender in Oklahoma for Consensual Sex With Another Teen in Expunged Conviction

Posted on December 10, 2008
A teenager and his family in Oklahoma is discovering the troubling consequences of our sex offender and statutory rape laws. Ricky (his last name is being withheld at his request) had sex when he was 16 with a girl who allegedly told him that she was 16...


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