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Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 15:17:00

Bye Bye Cefalo's

Posted on October 23, 2008
Ok I'll admit it -- I owned one of those memberships at Cefalo's Wine Cellar. What can I say -- I liked the ambiance, the downstairs intimacy, and of course the beautiful hostesses and other assorted lovely people.Sure I had to hobnob with a few of you from time to time, but given enough carefully cultivated Italian Barbera, I sometimes actually enjoyed the experience...

Michael Work Talks to Hindus, Thinks World Should Stop Laughing At Us.

Posted on October 23, 2008
You may have noticed well-known Muslin Barry Obama spoke at our Bicentennial Park earlier this week, and for some reason the Hindustan Times wanted to be there. Even stranger, they wanted to interview Miami Beach attorney Michael Work, who said some wild things about how nobody likes us anymore and Obama plans to make love to France...

3d DCA Watch -- Special Chris Carver Commemorative Edition

Posted on October 22, 2008
This is turning out to be one hail of a week. I don't know what I did to deserve all this, but I have had semi-legitimate reasons to publish some of my favorite photos, and today brings us yet another one.So without any further precatory blather, let's get right into it, yes kiddies join us as we peer down south at those mystical coffee-swilling laborers by the cee-ment road, those robed wranglers who bring us so much wit, wisdom, and the occasional inscrutable PCA, yes it's this week's edition of 3d DCA Watch:Well, what do you know...

It's No-Shave Movember!

Posted on October 22, 2008
Ok, so we know some of you are too busy, too lazy, or too disinterested to run in a 5k for charity or anything like that. I know, you are saving your physical energy for your new diet.Still, there are ways you can give back in these tough times. During November (or Movember), groups all over cyberspace start clean shaven and commit to growing beards or moustaches for at least a month...

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Steel Cage Texas Glove Judicial Death Match?

Posted on October 22, 2008
Let me tell you, I'm gonna miss Joan Fleischman. She was one of the most enjoyable parts of the Herald (I know that's not saying much), and she always found offbeat, interesting stories that gave texture and dimension to the crazy goings-on here in South Florida...

Matthew Staver Wants to Protect Marriages By Outlawing Some of Them

Posted on October 21, 2008
I love Amendment 2. The world is going to hell in a handbasket and yet we're worrying about the "sanctity of marriage" again? Deck chairs, meet Titanic.First of all, anyone who's ever been married knows it's not so sacred -- if you do it right. I like the way Garry Shandling put it a few weeks ago on Bill Maher: I could care less about gay marriage, but I have a huge problem with gay divorce...

Dimond Kaplan Puts World On Notice of Something.

Posted on October 20, 2008
Breaking news that everybody needs to immediately read. In your case, that means close down your other browsers and personal email accounts and click over to this important news bulletin: MIAMI, Oct 20, 2008 (GlobeNewswire via COMTEX) -- The securities law firm of Dimond Kaplan & Rothstein, P...

Note to Cesar Alvarez: You Are Now Officially Bumming Me Out.

Posted on October 20, 2008
So I had a great weekend, how about you? Good friends, good times, intensive dieting followed by even more intensive windsurfing.But then I open up the paper on Sunday and there he is, on the front page, above the fold, spouting doom and gloom. Yes it's our favorite philosopher-king, Cesar Alvarez: Cesar L...

SFL Friday -- Clear Skies Ahead!

Posted on October 17, 2008
Well it's Friday and I hope you all have glorious plans for the weekend. Some of you are receiving awards, some attending concerts, and a few of you are just plain goofing off.Me, I have a jam-packed schedule of intensive dieting and windsurfing ahead so I'm gonna duck out early and wish you all a fabulous weekend and a Happy Sukkot...

Posted Without Comment

Posted on October 17, 2008
Oy:A Miami-Dade Circuit Judge has stepped down after he's charged with a misdemeanor count of indecent exposure.The State Attorney's Office claims Douglas Chumbley exposed himself on September 25th inside a University of Miami bathroom near a campus Starbucks...

Things Are Tough All Over

Posted on October 16, 2008
Ok, so now I have to give the shoeshine guy at the courthouse a ten spot to get my shoes shined, the price of the remaining bottles of Malaccan gin is on the rise, and it's impossible for two to get out of La Loggia at lunchtime for under 50 bucks.I can accept all that...

Middle District To Overworked Wage-and-Hour Lawyers: You Are On Double-Secret Probation

Posted on October 16, 2008
You think you're having a bad day? Try stepping into the shoes of these lawyers, when intrepid reporter Julie Kay calls and wants a comment on this story:A federal magistrate judge in Orlando, Fla., has recommended that three lawyers receive reprimands for failing to comply with court scheduling orders related to their high-volume overtime suit practices...

Just Because.

Posted on October 16, 2008

Michael Kreitzer Wants Plaintiffs To Be Diligent.

Posted on October 15, 2008
Every so often I guess I have to write something about, you know, the law or the legal profession or something boring like the rules that actually govern what we do. I know I know -- snooze city. But it's the only way dear readers in big firms can justify their 4...

3d DCA Watch -- High Minded Retro Poetic Form Edition

Posted on October 15, 2008
Well it's an idiot wind blowing down the backroads headin' south today, bringing with it 60s radicals, secret Muslims, and lots and lots of things to be afraid of and angry about starting at around 9 o'clock tonight, dont'cha know.But for just a brief shining moment, let's put our bickering and worries aside, throw caution to the wind, and peer south to the wizards by the highway, those freewheelin' robed hepcat coffee-swillers that rule our world, yes you know it, the good, the bad, and Judge Schwartz -- yes it's that time of the week again, where PCAs are born, born free, born to be you and me, ahhh hail enough already with all this bullcrap it's 3d DCA Watch:Hialeah Automotive v...

Disgraced Sheriff Ken Jenne To Receive Happy Ending After All

Posted on October 14, 2008
Courtesy of Scott Rothstein's firm:''Let's just say he's making a damn good living,'' Rothstein said. ``And he's worth every penny.''Say no more, Scott, say no more, nudge nudge -- I know exactly what you mean.

Gunster Yoakley "Unhappy" Over Being Sued Again; Needs Some Alone Time.

Posted on October 14, 2008
Come on, Gunster, don't be down -- turn that smile into a frown, you big galute:More than two dozen buyers trying to recover deposits on the failed Palladio Terrace condo have filed a $2.5 million lawsuit against the Gunster Yoakley law firm, claiming the firm failed to properly guard their cash when it served as the condo's escrow agent...

Stormy Monday: It's All Jimmy Carter's Fault.

Posted on October 13, 2008
That's what "Mellon Financial Center" attorney John Lanzetta thinks:In the '70s, Democratic President Jimmy Carter started it off with his efforts at financial deregulation and his Community Reinvestment Act, which encouraged and pressured banks to make loans to those who were theretofore unbankable...

SFL Friday: Swinging Stocks, Crystal Balls and Trust Accounts

Posted on October 10, 2008
Ahhh it's Friday. Sure the Dow's down 22 percent for the week, Hal Lewis thinks Robert Cooper is suing developers on a theory first advanced by Tommy Shaw on an old Styx album, but still....it's Friday.But then here comes intrepid reporter Julie Kay with some new worries:Following the failure of California's IndyMac and the very real potential of other bank collapses, lawyers have been flooding bar associations with questions about whether they would be responsible for client trust accounts if a bank fails...

They Write Letters...

Posted on October 10, 2008
Oy, that sinking feeling in my stomach is not a rock-hard bagel; still I can always turn to the Miami Herald letters page for some comic relief. Let's see....What's this, uber-DUI lawyer extraordinaire Bobby Reiff, boldly stepping in the middle of the raging and deeply bitter dispute over beach clean up salaries:The Oct...

3d DCA Watch -- Somebody Did Something Good Edition

Posted on October 08, 2008
Hi kiddies, well it's almost Kol Nidre and thus an appropriate time to do a little Teshuva, you know, take stock of what kind of lawyers we are, what kind of people we are -- as against what kind we want to be -- and how to bridge the gap between the two over the next year...

"America's Mayor" Michael Pizzi Declares Peace in Our Time!

Posted on October 08, 2008
Using his piercing blue eyes and patented unique interpersonal skills, Michael Pizzi is now one step closer to world domination by seizing the Kingdom of Miami Lakes.Standing upon his bar top throne and surveying the faithful, Pizzi magnanimously imposed his first decree, declaring all weapons to be turned into plowshares, or something like that:"At the end of the day it feels good,'' Pizzi said from The Billiard Club, where he gave his victory speech from a bar top...

Lawyers Are On All Sides Of The Mortgage Meltdown

Posted on October 07, 2008
I see UM grad Delaila Estefano has allegedly found a different angle on this whole mortgage fraud thing:Delaila Estefano, 35, and two men were charged last week with first-degree grand theft, organized fraud and using a fake ID.She was released after posting a $75,000 bond...

Carvalho: Texting That You "Love And Miss" Mistress Is A Personal Attack

Posted on October 07, 2008
Boy, this is the story that keeps on giving. I really love the way Carvalho has handled the whole emails to his lover thing, because it shows the guy is not ready for prime-time and doesn't seem able to improvise and deal with a scandal effectively. That, plus I'm totally jealous -- Tania, please write us!Anyway, first he denies it, then he says maybe they're real, then he says he could retrieve his personal account emails if he wanted to but why would he, then he's sputtering about how writing love notes to a former Herald schools reporter is some kind of "personal attack...

Justice Roberts to Reduce Judicial Caseload By Eliminating Lawsuits

Posted on October 06, 2008
Anyone remember state's rights?No, me neither. Now I guess the smart thing is to have federal appointees and goyisher kopfs in DC like Heckuva job Brownie deciding everything. At least that's what I understand Justice Roberts is planning on doing this term: Several conservative justices tied the case to earlier Supreme Court precedent that has preempted state-level cases when federal agencies are involved in oversight of an industry...

Dennis Stackhouse Latest Victim of "Batista Bomb"

Posted on October 06, 2008
Let me tell you, "developer" Dennis Stackhouse is in a world of trouble. Sure he's got all kinds of shady dealings with various county pols, looming foreclosures and whatnot, but worse than all that -- he's got Dave Batista up in his grillhouse: His business is in tatters, he was dumped by his former partners with Miami-Dade County, and he's now being hounded by lenders and prosecutors...

SFL Friday, Or How to Make Love During A Recession.

Posted on October 03, 2008
Don'tcha know, say it ain't so, Joe! Let's take a quick snapshot of our profession:McDermott hammered with a $4.3 million sanction for trial misconduct. And I thought only plaintiffs' lawyers were bad....Legal employment jobs down 15k from last year...

SFL Free Advice Friday: When Discussing Steve Chaykin, You Probably Should Avoid Metaphors About "Water"

Posted on October 03, 2008
Just sayin':Five men have opted not to run against Florida Bar board of governors candidate Dori Foster-Morales, the only woman seeking the Miami-Dade seat, but one man will oppose her.Foster-Morales, a family law attorney and wife of former Miami-Dade County Commissioner Jimmy Morales, will face Miami plaintiff attorney John Ostrow in a race to be decided Nov...

"Off the Record" Emails -- What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Posted on October 02, 2008
As if that crazy fire-fee case could not get any crazier, we have this:Lawyer Lorena Schwartz, clerk to Circuit Judge Jose Rodriguez, sent an e-mail Sept. 17 asking for advice on how plaintiffs seeking the fee settlement could strengthen their case. The e-mail went to lawyers representing the city ? not the lawyers in the class-action lawsuit who represent residents wrongly charged the fee...

3d DCA Watch -- Dog Bites Man Edition

Posted on October 01, 2008
Hi kiddies, to be honest I'm a little sluggish this morning, I'm recovering from brisket overload -- too much Malaccan gin, women, and tashlich -- but I have summoned the energy to wade through the latest dispatch from our coffee-soaked, robe-wearing southern pontificators of all that is affirmable, yes dear readers it's that time again as we dive right in to this week's edition of 3d DCA Watch:Boy what a relief...

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