Law Students

Wait...you want me to...work?

Posted on May 31, 2008
I know, I know....I've been a sporadic little poster, haven't I?I don't really have a legitimate excuse, except "Trying to drive the length of the country sans internet" and also "isolated from other 1Ls, don't have many funny things to say."However: I did come across this in my online ramblings- www...

In Which We Learn that I have Bad Travel Karma

Posted on May 14, 2008
So I'm stuck in the Cleveland Airport. This is either the start of a horrible joke (isn't my life just one big joke some times?), or just another tragic statement of reality...It turns out, I bear the worst travel karma of anyone else I know. Currently, I'm thanking my lucky stars that nothing has been cancelled, and nobody's asked me to (a) sit co-pilot, or (b) "step on the scale, please" before boarding my flight (yeah...

Stick a fork in me, I'm done

Posted on May 08, 2008
Done, done, done with finals. More done than a steak in Hell's Kitchen, and happier than a 4 year old in a lollipop factory.How was it? Well....It was...."utterly macabre."* I don't think these things get any better with time. Last semester, I infused a little personal drama into finals week- it made the whole experience fly by like a very, very, ugly, book-filled avalanche...

Oooh. Law School is sparkly-fun.

Posted on April 28, 2008
If this doesn?t thrill you with excitement? ?Traditional Exceptions to the Contributory Negligence Bar in a Comparative Fault Regime? ?you are probably already dead inside.In other recent news: have been at the Friendly Little Coffeehouse so long/for so many days consecutively, have now met every member of the owners' family, all of the staff, and been adopted by the regulars...

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Finals Blow, but Coffee is Nice.

Posted on April 23, 2008
Fact: If you are ever wondering: ?gee, should I get that extra shot of espresso in my very lovely drink?? the answer is always ?yes, certainly, you deserve it,? - it will make your inevitable tumble down the front of the student union so much less painful and disgruntling...

Dear Law Review: I am much smarter than I look

Posted on April 09, 2008
Last night, after a very long day, I got stuck walking home in the rain. Nobody answered my phone calls, small children threw rocks at me, and the world's smallest violin played "My Heart Cries For You." In a nutshell, it was rough. Part of my funk was due to the fact that, law school being the bubbling cauldron of misinformation that it is, I had determined that the law review write-on competition was: 1...

May It Please the Court, because it certainly doesn't please me.

Posted on April 09, 2008
For those that are wondering, oral arguments went well. Law prom also went well, but that's a story for another blog entry. By "well," I mean that I neither cried nor had to fake narcolepsy (at either!), so all in all, a productive evening. My legs were shaking so badly that I kicked a cord loose on my podium- I solved the trembling problem by gripping onto the thing like my ship was going down...

Here's to You, Mr. I Decided to Wear Cologne Today

Posted on April 08, 2008
Roommate's Ode to the Yummy:Here's to you Mr. I Decided To Wear Cologne. Your insistence on smelling good amidst a crowd of male law students who either smell bad or not at all is a breath of fresh air (no pun intended). You refuse to let law school drag you down, and you give hope to the rest of us...

Things that are more fun than law school, part 921

Posted on April 06, 2008
I have no self control. Or a property outline.I do have:Cream cheese wontonsHot & Sour soupGeneral Tsao's chickenAmerica's Next Top Model.Blue MoonA sunny Sunday afternoonThe moral of the story is: Self control is overrated.Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Conscience.

Noted-Fashion-Photographer, what?

Posted on March 31, 2008
I am a not-that-closet America's Next Top Model fan. Yeah, yeah- cue eyerolling/gasps of empathy and recognition. The thing is- its like crack. I just can't stop. Which is why, now that the last episode has re-aired, I'm going to put this out in the blogosphere:There was a Challenge for all the little would-be-Tyras to complete (bear with me here)...

Memo #8: Just because it covers your skin doesn't mean it's clothing

Posted on March 30, 2008
Dear NoState Law School (Personnel Management Division), We may need to have an intervention. You see, I understand that you are Very Far From Fashionable and The Coasts and Frequently Misguided and also have a population clearly resembling your burgeoning beef industry...

The Prince is Giving a Ball!

Posted on March 28, 2008
Law prom tonight, law prom tonight, the boys are in ties and the girls are in heels, its law prom tonight!Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen: it's true. The one, the only, the social event of the year- Law Prom. Thankfully, we've been preparing for this law school (high school?) right of passage for some time...

But I GOT the flu shot!

Posted on March 12, 2008
I have the plague. Blah.Also, turns out that cold medication makes me much, much, stupider. I am in fact a smarter drunk than I am a sick person. Not a good sign for my immediate future, great news for my future legal career.

In Which We Change Our Life Plans to Something Easier & More Cliche

Posted on March 05, 2008
FMF: I'm perusing blogs to avoid a) planning my 8 am class or preparing the handout and b) reading the second have of Hegel's Philosophy of Right. If it's going to make me stupider--or merely make me feel that way--I want none of it, thank you Nobody: I feel like that is an excellent life philosophy...

Thoughts of the Day #7: The Diplomat on the Democratic Process

Posted on February 28, 2008
The Diplomat, on Civics-Class inspired optimism:"Congress needs a case study and a trial period and a legit reason for all those things....they got these kids hopes up, like they can really change the world. Well, you can change the world: if you want to name a post office or something we can do that on the first try...

We're not smiling because we like you, we're smiling because we mock you. Kisses from the Nobody household!

Posted on February 28, 2008
Today in Contracts:Roommate:We have to buy tickets for law prom. We also have to buy tickets together, so we can make fun of everyone else without shouting. Lets remember to bring checkbooks tomorrow, k?- Nobody--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------N:Check and check...

Misappropriation of Terms: "Snarky"

Posted on February 27, 2008
Dear Sneaky Bastard,Your adoring public has been long-awaiting your inevitable online evisceration. For some time, I resisted mocking you here- you have so few friends, you see, and I pitied you as you cried silent tears of self-loathing into your Con Law reading...

Gosh, employment feels nice.

Posted on February 19, 2008
Future Dream Boss is now just Dream-Boss-to-Be! Hooray!There will be an imminent dance party to celebrate- meet me in the living room, I'm the one with the Pringles.Future updates to follow...in the meantime, I think I may have the plague.

Time Management? That's for undergrads.

Posted on February 12, 2008
Dear Professor Letter of Rec, Remember what I said about "maturing" and "learning to put school work first"? I promised you that my procrastinating days were over. I said that I had turned over a new leaf. Gosh. I am so, so, sorry about that. Old dog, new tricks...

No Diving: Sticking a Toe in the Law School Dating Pool

Posted on February 10, 2008
"Dating as a grad is like trying to execute a perfect, 1 and 1/2 twist dive--into the shallow end. Of the kiddie pool." -- Funny Mean Friend, on the Grad School dating scene *When FMF is dead on, well...she's dead on. More power to all of you in your shiny happy little grad school relationships- y'all are the Olympians of the dating scene, I swear it...

The return of Self-Indulgence Tuesdays

Posted on February 05, 2008
A bit of law school arithmetic:Kahlua + ice cream = AmazingKahlua + ice cream + fire = Hott.Kahlua + ice cream + fire + The Office = DivineKahlua + ice cream + fire + The Office + The Office Quoting Princess Bride = TranscendentBest. Tuesday. Ever. I highly recommend it.

No, I Don't Have an Outlook Appointment With Your Name On It

Posted on February 05, 2008
Oh for Pete's sake, boys.We've had the talk. I don't want to have it again. I didn't want it to come to this, but someone had to be a spokeswoman for the group, and I drew the short straw:-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Over-Exuberant Male 2Ls,Honey-bunches-of-oats, I know...

Productive Procrastination, or "Ace of Base makes me want to be a decorator"

Posted on February 03, 2008
Woke up this morning to the sweet, sweet sounds of Ace of Base, and rocked out in my pajamas. When you've gotta dance, you've just gotta dance.Roommate is gone this weekend, and I swore to myself that I was going to have the Most Productive Weekend Ever in her absence...

Dear Dream Boss: You are funny! Lets hang out.

Posted on January 30, 2008
Its 1L interview season! Wooohooo. Yes, firm-in-city-I-don't-really-know, I love love love that city. Its my dream city! My second cousin lives there. We are likethis. I will never, ever leave. Pay me lots of money? Thanks.I'm (naturally) still unemployed, though I will probably have the decency to be coy about it when & if I con some unsuspecting employer into hiring me...

Roommate on interviews

Posted on January 30, 2008
There's a smattering of people walking around in suits today, mostly looking insufferable. Because I am not interviewing today, I am feeling particularly judgy- which is not to say that I am not typically judgy, but I am feeling more judgy than usual...

Life philosophy & baked goods

Posted on January 27, 2008
Woke up this morning in a cold-medication induced fog, to find a message on my phone.Since no one ever calls me, this was sort of surprising. Upon opening the message, I found an extra-special photo from Funny Mean Friend: a cookie, iced (white) emblazoned in big red writing with the motto "I win...

Fatty wants a cookie?

Posted on January 24, 2008
Dear "law school is making me fat" searcher:Hey, me too! But please see the previous conversation with Roommate- law school is not making you fat, it is making you self-loathing. Believe me, I have to clarify for myself sometimes, too.I know that we've picked a crazy, sadistic profession, full of crippling self esteem problems and equally embarrassing drinking "habits": but wouldn't it be easier to hate yourself over something a little less teen-angsty?There are sexier, more grownup ways to freak out: ones that actually involve consuming tremendous amounts of self-indulgent food and liquor, instead of wishing you could...

An Update on the Lamp Situation

Posted on January 21, 2008
The Changing of the Lamp has come.There were men in robes and doomsdays signs, and the works.Never fear though- with the moral support of 4 strong men and women, one brave soul managed not only to change the lamp (amidst much shushing from the Moral Support Division), but to move Old Lamp (substandard, lacking in social graces, and completely insufficient Old Lamp) to the table directly behind us, and to replace it with New Lamp (appears physically the same in every regard, but almost certainly has special, as-yet-undiscovered super powers which merit this level of pomp & circumstance)...

Beware the Coming of the Lamp: overwrought with excitement in the library

Posted on January 21, 2008
School has started again, with a vengeance, and our class schedules appear to have been specifically organized to cause the maximum damage to our psyches. Given that this is an entirely sadist career and educational choice, I shouldn?t be surprised, but consolidating a whole mess of fractured, frightened little 1Ls up next to the construction noise next door and then demanding Constitutional Law of them seems a bit much- and they?ve taken away our laptops! This is not an environment conducive to learning, or Scrabulous...

An uncomfortable flashback? Oh yes.

Posted on January 16, 2008
So, the job search. About that.Hi, Mom & Dad. Yes, I'm still unemployed. But I was thinking- you know what would be great? Event planning! No, I don't know "what kind of law I want to practice," and no, I don't really want to talk about it....let's talk about event planning!Really, I feel they ought to pat me on the back for not developing a drug dependency, and call it a day...

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