International Law

Email inefficiency is probably a major contributor to the  technology Stress that some of us experience. My business partner and I have often joked, sometimes seriously, about clever auto-responders to help filter the daily load. Here?s a couple of funny ones that I, ironically, got in a junk email:

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn?t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor?s having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I?m thinking about what you?ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I?ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ? Sharon ? instead of ?Steve?.

via daveduarte.co.za