Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Law Humor Blogs -> Bernard Madoff

Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Bernie's Belated Birthday

Dear Mark and Andy-

Your birthday box just arrived; better a week late than never!
The f--king screws kept the nova and the Davidoff's for themselves, but they let me keep the great poster that you sent. Very thoughtful! You remembered your old man's favorite dishes! 

I'm going to hang this right next to the poster that Janey Wells sent me..

Don't forget that its Mother's Day this weekend; your Mom would probably love some more of the Boots No.7.

BTW-Get a message over to Picower's girl April, and tell her if that if they didn't have a chance to cover their shorts when I told them to cover the Dow futures at 10,000 yesterday, they should sell puts while the VIX is so high.

Dad


From: Lloyd Blankfein
To: Entire Staff

Don't despair re: the news stories circulating that  AIG is dropping us and going to use ShittyBank's IB group.
1. The revenue loss is inconsequential; and AIG has always proven to be a pain when it comes to paying outstanding fees. If you recall, if it weren't for Hank twisting arms, it would have been a bitch getting them to honor the swap deals last year.

2. The money we made on the Hepalink deal yesterday is going to more than compensate any fees that our IB dept might have made from AIG. Proving that Pigs Do Fly! Ha. (Yes, we booked a $1 billion profit on the $5 million investment we made back in '07..So all is good at Goldman!)

3. When those idiots at AIG realize that ShittyBank traders can't even execute a program trade without f--king it up, they'll have no choice but to come back on their hands and knees.

4. Today's lunch is Moussaka and Melopita for dessert; courtesy of the Structured Finance Desk.

LB

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on May 08, 2010 (boomark / email).