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: Bernard Madoff

Ira's IPO -MIDAS Hiring IB's

Oy, I need three more computers just to keep up with all the new business and all of the new trades we're going to be printing! And more printer cartridges!!

First-
To: Ira
From: Bernie

Ira-Now that the government is back in a "Shoot-First and Ask Questions Later" mode, and arresting anyone in sight, I'm thinking that you and your partners at Dickstein are going to make a killing--all thanks to me!

And, now's the time to capitalize!

Everybody knows that I've got the Midas touch, and that I've got the best nose for when to buy and when to sell. So, Ruth and the MIDAS Board met last night at Pietro's and put together a bridge financing term sheet for Dickstein's IPO.

We're thinking that you guys will be getting $500k-$1 mil retainers from at least 20 people over the next 12 months--and recurring revenue from each for another $500k-$750k a year for 3-4 years, plus plus padded expenses. That's at least $150 million in cash revenue! Maybe even more if you roll up Dechert, and maybe Morvillo's firm into your's, and maybe buy up a few of the boutiques--like that Sercarz Riopelle outfit.

And, you can keep milking that cash cow! After all, the more clients you get now, the more delays you can file for each of them, and each case is going to be stretched out for months, if not years!.

OK, maybe the revenue won't be as good as BMIS's, but its not chopped liver! And, the MIDAS financial planning team will be able to put all that money to work for you!

We've got a great portfolio of viatical settlements that you can buy into; all of the policies cover current and former BMIS investors, and most of them are going to be dying off in the next 5-10 years--so we're thinking the returns will be in the 18% range!

I'm thinking the "Ira IPO" can be valued at $1 billion-we've got the pre-IPO financing in hand. Check with UBS on the deposit account. We know everyone at the SEC, so the deal should be fast-tracked. The kids that worked on 19 are going to come back in and work the phones, and we can get Steve Walsh to manage the option arb strategies for investors.

Yeah, I know that Frank D. was our options guy, but he spent more time playing with his putz than he did with puts, and those guys from WG are more than pretty smart when it comes to option trading. Much smarter than Vic Teicher!

Ruth--are you taking notes???? Or do I have to scribble this on my f--king lap top??!

Next: Talking about market timing! Ruth-call up the guy at J.Aron and tell him to close out the Gold split strike strategy that we sold last Friday. Gold's traded down almost $60 since you shorted against the box, and its OK to book a profit. In the last ten days, you've made almost $100 oz in just two trades; that's the kind of performance record that Walter Noel and his kids can sell with their eyes closed!

Next: Everybody's saying " Everyone's a crook! Who can you trust anymore??"
I'm saying, "Trust Me.!"

All this jibber jabber about 'frauds' and 'scams' is nothing but bull sh-it! The entire system of capitalism is based on taking in money from investors, putting that money to work, and hoping for the best. There are no guarantees in this life, other than being born and eventually, dropping dead.

Did we ever promise anything to anybody??? Not me! Not Peter! Not Mark, not Marcia, not Shana and not even Frank. Andy can barely tell time. Maybe Sonny or Sonny did. Mabye dopamine Bob Jaffe did. I can't remember. And, whatever Ezra, or Walter Noel might have promised people, or whatever Stanley Chais promised--I wouldn't know. Whatever Dimon's people at JPMorgan might have promised--I wouldn't know.

This is what I do know--for decades the Federal Government has been promising that the Social Security deductions they they take from every pay check is going to be safe and go into a special fund that we can draw against when we get old. Does anybody know how much is left in that account?? Oy.

If Bush had his way, he'd have put hundreds of billions into f--king mutual funds!!! Mutual funds??? And, look what Hank Paulson did!--Did I want my money going into GM?? Of course not! I had 3 Mercedes and a Land Rover!!!

What? Did anybody ask what kind of car that Tim Geithner is driving?? Its not a GM! And, its not a Chrysler!!

Sonny-Speaking of UBS--I posted here last week that you need to check into that issue. Now it might be too late.

Finally:
To: Rep. Gary Ackerman (NY)
From: Bernie Madoff

Gary: Keep up the pressure. You're doing a good job of forcing the IRS to come out and make a clear statement is what transparent markets are all about. And, I was the king of transparent markets. When I paid for order flow, I told everyone that's what I was doing. So, the IRS saying "We advise you to speak to your tax advisor.." when it comes to loss deductions and carry backs and carry forwards is bull sh-it!

Oy. Ruth--Get out the defib! I need a jolt!!

BLM

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 26, 2009 (boomark / email).