Law Humor

If you need another reason not to use Facebook, here's one: your "friends" may not stay safely on the Internet. Here's another: some of them may be really touchy about their ugly babies.

Obviously, all new babies are ugly. I guess you're not supposed to say that, but it's still a fact. It's not their fault, and most of them get over it, but they are just not attractive people at that point. I mean, if you saw a grown-up with a face like that, you'd be on the phone to the circus, not saying "oh, how adorable." Why should babies get special treatment? So I have no doubt that this one, which was only four days old, was in fact ugly. (I tried to find the right Facebook to confirm, but had no luck.)

But again, my understanding is that this is not something you're supposed to say out loud, especially if the parents responsible are within earshot. And as everyone should have learned by now, but hasn't, there are lots of things you should not say on Facebook, either.

Which is not to say that you should expect to get stabbed over it.

Two Chicago women have been charged with felony aggravated battery and aggravated assault, respectively, after one of them allegedly stabbed another woman over "ugly baby" comments on Facebook. Exactly what happened is a little confused, partly because these was a mother-daughter pair on each side of the brawl. Apparently, one 18-year-old called the other 18-year-old's baby "ugly" on a Facebook page, and at some point thereafter, the new mother and her own mother showed up in person to discuss the comments.

"The daughter came over to my house with the mom to see the messages and she hit me in the eye trying to hit my daughter," said 39-year-old Tiffany Scott. What happened after that is not clear, but Scott said that 15 minutes later, the other mom got stabby. "I was going to my daughter's car," Scott said, "and she came out with the knives." She used them several times, too, although Scott is apparently going to be okay.

Getting stabbed is a drag, especially when you didn't start the fight in the first place. "[Y]ou'd never think your mother would get stabbed over something you said, verbally or on a computer," said Scott's daughter, who now knows better.