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Law Humor

: Lowering the Bar

San Francisco Docket (June 2009)

By Kevin Underhill

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Here are a few cases filed in San Francisco Superior Court during the past couple of weeks. I hasten to add that, as with all my "docket reports" of this kind, I know nothing about these particular cases other than what's in the descriptions provided, which are taken directly from the actual docket report we get every day. (I am pretty sure the report is put together by somebody with a decent sense of humor, and not inadvertently funny, but you never know). Not making any judgments about the cases themselves, the descriptions just strike me as funny.

Mary Fletcher v. Round Table Pizza Inc. et al., No. C09-01691 (filed 6/11/2009)	Personal injury action where a customer at defendant Round Table Pizza put the leg of their chair onto the plaintiff's toe.
Patrick Gilles v. Jeffrey Fletcher; John McDill; Thomas Rickard; Christopher Adams; Michael Taylor; Jay Siegan; Jay Siegan Presents; Wonderbread 5; No. CGC-09-48957 (filed 6/17/09)	Complaint for fraud, breach of contract and interference with economic relations. Defendant Adams kicked the plaintiff out of the successful Jackson 5 cover band he had helped start ten years earlier, saying that if he showed up to that night's gig "it could get physical." The defendants continue to use the plaintiff's likeness, voice tracks, and guitar tracks in live performances and marketing materials. $1 million.
Hui Zhen Kuang, guardian ad litem for Vincent Ye v. The Cheesecake Factory Inc.; No. CGC-09-489528 (filed 6/16/09)	Premises liability lawsuit. The defendant seated the plaintiff's mother with the infant plaintiff in a chair within inches of a swinging door used by waiters, leading to the plaintiff's injuries.
Anthony Benjamin Sr. v. Liberty Dental Plan Inc. Quality Management Committee, No. CPF-09-509605 (filed 6/17/09)	Petition for writ of mandate and complaint for declaratory relief. The dental care providers in the respondent's network provided the petitioner negligent care that caused him to lose several teeth and develop a yeast infection in his penis that has lasted for more than two years, all motivated by greed.