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Feeling the Burn

By Anonymous

I worked out this morning. The last time I went to a gym was some time in 2006. Maybe early 2007, but by then I was pregnant and doubt I was doing much. I'm embarrassed to say that there's even a gym in my office building, it's free, well-equipped, and has a beautiful view of downtown Austin, but until now I'd never used it.

I used to be very fit. In college I worked out for at least an hour every day, sometimes twice a day, and I would never have imagined a version of me that could barely finish 20 minutes on a treadmill. I have all sorts of excuses, most of them involving Landon and the fact that I can't figure out a time to work out that doesn't take away from my cherished time with him or JP. But lately I've been plagued by insomnia much worse than usual and I've dreamed about exercise almost every night. I think my mostly sedentary lifestyle is getting to me. I realized yesterday that if I read about my daily activity and diet, I would totally judge me. I eat pizza three times a week and a giant cookie every day, I have no idea how I've stayed this size- I think the enormous stress of Landon's first 6 months and the fact that I basically stopped eating for the last three months of 2007 shocked my body into a higher metabolic state. And blessedly, that high metabolism has stuck around.

But still, even though I previously worked out with the goal of being the size I am now, I miss feeling strong. My arms remain toned thanks to my occasionally clingy and always heavy toddler, but my legs aren't now that I no longer walk everywhere. And I miss thinking of myself as fit. I've decided I'm going to make a real effort to work out at least twice a week. It isn't much, but it's a lot more than I've been doing and JP takes Landon to daycare three mornings a week, there's no reason I can't get myself out of bed and to the office an hour early to fit in a quick workout. Something is better than nothing, right?

So feel free to ask about my progress. I hope that potential accountability will shame me into going because it is ridiculous that my legs are this sore and shaky after the joke of a workout I did this morning. But I feel good and I think I'm going to sleep better tonight. Happy almost Mother's Day!

Full post as published by Lag Liv on May 10, 2009 (boomark / email).