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Just What Every Little Girl Dreams Of

I'm trudging through the law school exhausted today, because I couldn't sleep last night. Why, you ask? Well, gentle reader, I shall tell you.

I couldn't sleep because I had a law school nightmare.*

Last night, I dreamt that I had a Very Serious Important Project due, and I couldn't, for the life of me, find the sources that I needed. I was frantically perusing Westlaw,** working myself into a holy panic- you know, the usual. This, in itself, is not much to lose sleep over. The thing that troubled me in this dream, however, was that I was on a very, very tight schedule, because I was getting married. In 3 days.***

Moreover, I was particularly upset about planning this wedding because I had to do it entirely on Westlaw. On some level, my mind must have done the following calculus: Westlaw has everything, therefore, Westlaw has bridesmaid dresses, therefore, a wedding can be planned on Westlaw. The result of this reasoning was that, in my sick head, computer screens flashed before my eyes as I pounded my desk in frustration. Where was the database for caterers?! Shouldn't "brid! /s (shoe or foot!) /25 "sparkle"" turn up something to wear on my feet? What would be an appropriate natural language search for "something borrowed, something blue"? Are officants listed in the professional directories?

In between these dream-freakouts, I would ponder the impossiblity. Why had I waited so long to plan this? How was I going to get done by my deadline? Basically, an identical freakout to every time I've had something due in law school- the combination of "oh crap I'm never going to get it done" combined with the illogical conviction that, yes, I may have procrastinated, but I'm going to get away with it. Again.

It was all so vivid that even in my dream, I was able to overlook the lunacy of it all. Until this morning, when I stared at the ceiling and thought: "Why would I be looking for orange taffeta, anyway?"

I may be losing my mind.

Lesson learned: I need to get out more. A lot more. And FYI, Westlaw does not, in fact, have everything.

*What's that you say? Every waking moment here is a nightmare? Touche. But that's not what meant.

**Dear sole non-law reader: Westlaw is a legal database. In law school, they give us lots of free things to use their services. Then, when we graduate, they charge us through the nose for them.

***Chill out, Internet. I'm not getting married.

Full post as published by Thanks, But No Thanks. on February 11, 2009 (boomark / email).