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Toe Pick

Alright, I realize this may generate a lot of angry comments, Booo-urnses, rotten tomatoes, or immediate clicks to the HuffPo link in your bookmark, but I need to get this off my chest.

First, I may be slightly biased about the sport of figure skating because I think the greatest figure skating move around is two hockey players holding each other suggestively and spinning around the ice while bashing each others' brains out.  Plus there's an honorable element to that (50 seconds in).    OK, D.B. Sweeney moment out of the way. 

Second, as a product of the former Soviet Union, I've had to watch a bit too much figure skating than I care to admit.  In fact one of my earliest childhood memories is a Soviet couple winning gold by skating to Albinoni's Adagio in D (the couple on TV right now is dancing to Albinoni's Adagio in D).  And I've come to the conclusion that the sport is just like network TV...very uncreative.  (The limited song rotation in the sport is probably just another symptom of the lack of creativity).  I realize there are specific elements that they have to hit.  I get that.  I also realize the limits imposed on the sport by the laws of physics (you spin faster when you move your hands closer to your body).  But despite all that, the sport as a whole just borrows whatever move garners the max points at the present time.  For example, all the spinners grab their skates now because that gets a tenth of point extra or something.  Similarly, the jump du jour is a triple toe loop.  The axle is apparently too easy these days.  The phenomenon exists in other sports. The Miami Dolphins had marginal success with a new offense, and next thing you know, every friggin team is doing a version of the "wildcat offense." My earlier analogy to network TV is also appropriate because for every American Idol (a British show), you have America's Got Talent.  For Dancing with the Stars, you have So You Think You Can Dance.  For every successful season of 24, you have another season that takes the precise story arc, erases the penciled in recycled characters and "terrorist countries", and calls it a wrap. 

Third, the NBC announcers, for figure skating at least, are TERRIBLE.  "They're just savoring the moment right now."  Huh?  What the hell does that mean?  I just muted them and pretended John Madden was calling the skating:  "You know Al, if the Chinese want to take home the gold, they really can't afford to slip...and I might add, Brett Favre really looks like a kid having fun out there on the ice."

Full post as published by Nuts & Boalts on February 16, 2010 (boomark / email).