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Today's Quote: A Clean Getaway

By Lynne DeVenny

To The Idiot Who Stole the Toilet Paper from here:
(upper-left hand drawer, to be exact)

I think it's time you re-examined your life. Is your main goal in life to root through drawers looking for something to wipe your ass with or is there something I'm missing? Sure, you might have gotten away clean (pardon the pun), But you really have to ask yourself if this is what all your hopes and dreams turned out to be.

To me, it was only 27 cents worth of toilet paper, but to you: It represents the kind of person you are. A thieving, poor, good for nothing sham.

***
Don't be a thief, be enlightening and do something productive. Read a book, write a book, call someone you miss. Remove an animal from the shelter, donate to a charitable organization. The sky's the limit and the world is your oyster.

From "The Toilet Paper Ministry" (See this lengthy treatise in its entirety at PassiveAggressiveNotes.com)

Coming on the heels of a post about the ultimate passive aggressive email exchange between two legal secretaries who got fired over a missing ham sandwich, I had to share one of my favorite blogs with you guys: PassiveAggressiveNotes.com. This blog, which daily shares "painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over," is a must-read for anyone who's ever endured passive-aggressive co-workers - or is the passive-aggressive co-worker.

Ah, me, what's a day without a laugh at someone else's expense? And who hasn't gone ballistic upon discovering some useless sham of a human being ripped off the last of the toilet paper?

I think the little hearts at the top of this note really make it truly, truly heartfelt and even a little (just a teensy bit) sweet. Go now, out into your wide-open oyster world, and do some soul-searching while you replace that 27-cent toilet paper.

Full post as published by Practical Paralegalism on August 25, 2010 (boomark / email).