Public Defense

I see crumb people

By Gideon

Yes, that’s a play on words. And a clever one, if you think about it.

If it’s April, it means it’s time for the new year’s first edition of “Follow the Crumbs“. You search, I ridicule, in a nutshell. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

• alfred doctrine: “such rot sir, why you’re the very model of sanity, oh by the way I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls”
• public defender jokes: “what do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?” “Your Honor.”
• qualifications for a public defender: ability to think inside the box, fear of authority, lack of testicular fortitude, law degree optional.
• honey defender.com: aren’t you sweet?
• beat the law and excessive bond just had to be put together
• reading prison: is certainly better than living it
• I hate you please don’t leave me: oh wait, this is one of my own searches
• lie to me realistic: okay. That dress makes your butt look fat.
• ipostnaked: this is a recurring theme. I feel like I’m missing out on the latest internet meme.
• sex ooo: Is that your o face?
• restatement of law third the law governing lawyers chapter 1, section 3: seriously? Get off my lawn.
• front end solutions to prison overcrowding: build bigger prisons?
• castrated myself: I told you that a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client.
• who is a public defender: I am Spartacus!
• how to get off and sex offender registering: okay, okay, that was one search, not two.
• connecticut public defender blog: this be she, matey. Now walk the plank. Arrr.
• sex in public: generally frowned upon.
• lie to me accuracy: 50-50
• remedies for constitutional violations: pretend the constitution doesn’t exist. Problem solved.
• statutory rape quotes: “statutory rape”
• does a snitch have to testify: well, you might as well know the consequences before committing the deed.
• why public defenders are important: I love you. Will you marry me? My number is 1-900-CEG-IDEON
• argument for child sex: usually not well thought out
• i’m stoned: me too, brah, me too.
• how to cook frosting: what.the.fcuk.
• the constitution is unconstitutional: the entire document was written with invisible ink.
• auntie and niece sexual relationship the law: are they both above 18? If so, set up live streaming video website immediately. By law.
• the sex offender registry is fucking bullshit: couldn’t have said it better myself
• can you inject cocaine: maybe I shouldn’t ask, but into what?
• need money: yes, me too. Let me know when you find some laying around.
• where can I get a job if I’m an ex felon in New Britain, CT: okay, this just made me really sad.
• does a public defender make it worse: yes and applying cream to the affected area makes it better.
• cotus with 12 year old girl: did you mean SCOTUS with 12 year old girl?
• why does my co-defendant not have the same court date as me: because he’s snitchin’ on you. Or you’re snitchin’ on him. Either way, a-snitchin’s afoot.
• disrespect + prison + inmate + big +deal +everything: I think you’ve got it covered quite well.
• bare suspicion: the bare necessity
• missy whited drugs: …

This, folks, is how my mind works. You’re welcome.

Full post as published by A Public Defender on April 16, 2010 (boomark / email).