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: A Public Defender's Life in Alaska

So, what a day. Some good. Some bad. Some very bad. First, I saw the doctor today. I was having some pain in places where there should be no pain. Not only is it uncomfortable but it has been worrying me. The bottom line? He can't find anything. We will wait and see. That is better than "you have cancer" or something. Second, I was incredibly proud of myself. I figured out how to put together an axle. It may not sound like much but I was proud anyways. I spent my lunch hour at the shop learning how to do it and when I came home it all just fit together like it should. The trailer hasn't been road tested yet but I feel good about it. I didn't want to borrow the money to buy the parts but it is done. The trailer and boat may be in perfect working order. That may become important for the bad news. The bad news is that it looks like my buddy Jesse is leaving to go to law school. That is bad news for me. I am glad for him. But most of the adventures I have are with Jesse. Without him this place won't be the same. And today, for the first time ever, I seriously started thinking about leaving Alaska. I know I am fooling myself. All of my closest male friends live in Northern California. They are married or about to be. So am I. I know that we would rarely see each other. We have lives. Wives. Would I see G? Jeremy? Brian? But what to do? Things like the boat only make sense with other people. The girls won't be old enough for years. J hates it here. Hates it. And, for me, I have one less reason to stay. I can't help but think of the words in my favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption "Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are just too bright... and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice... but still, the place you live is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." Ken. G. Jesse. Goddamnit it all.

Full post as published by A Public Defender's Life in Alaska on May 18, 2010 (boomark / email).