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Lowering the Bar 

Legal humor. Seriously.
Post Frequency: 14.5/day Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 08:00:00 Recent Entries: 1172
By Kevin Underhill
Go to Lowering the Bar, find other Law Humor blogs, or browse all law blogs.
Man Cited for "Rocking Out" to John Denver Tunes
Posted on January 19, 2010Responding to what must be the first and only nuisance complaint ever based on the music of John Denver (based on its volume, anyway), police in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, ticketed a man on January 13 after neighbors complained the...
Judge Randomly Drug-Screened Courtroom Spectators, Complaint Alleges
Posted on January 19, 2010The term "due process" is hard to define exactly, but one thing it doesn't mean is "we do this all the time," a lesson that a judge in Tennessee learned the hard way. Judge Durwood Moore was censured last year,...
Note: Affair With Client's Spouse Tends to Create Conflict of Interest
Posted on January 18, 2010Actually, it's hard to think of a situation in which doing this would not create a conflict of interest, but if you represent a client in divorce proceedings even though you are the one his spouse has been cheating with,...
If You Want to See the Supremes Live, Be Prepared to Camp Out
Posted on January 18, 2010Mike Sacks, currently a third-year law student at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C., has embarked on a quest to be the first one in line to see at least the major cases be argued at the Supreme Court this term....
Dangerous Cub Scout on No-Fly List
Posted on January 15, 2010Michael Winston Hicks is the name of a suspicious individual who is on "the list," according to the TSA. It is also the name of 8-year-old "Mikey" Winston Hicks, left, who according to a January 13 New York Times article...
Deputy Tracks Fugitive Through World of Warcraft
Posted on January 13, 2010Alfred Hightower had been on the run since 2007, when a warrant was issued for his arrest on drug-dealing charges. Hightower was apparently from Kokomo, Indiana, but had fled to Canada. His downfall, though, was that he spent a lot...
Israeli Minister Makes Turkish Ambassador Sit on Little Sofa
Posted on January 13, 2010I guess when you have as many friends in the Middle East as Israel does, you can afford to humiliate one of them. Turkey, which has been an ally of Israel's for some time, is threatening to recall its ambassador...
2009 Lowering the Bar Awards
Posted on January 11, 2010Here are my selections for the best of 2009's worst. As was the case last year, all nominations and selections were determined though a complex and scrupulously fair process which involved me drinking and then picking the ones I liked...
2009 Roundup, Part Four: The Bill That Changed "No" to "Yes"
Posted on January 08, 2010I guess we are now a full week into 2010, so I'll just do one more of these. "Woman Says Boss Made Penis Puppets," read this headline. She alleged the puppetry involved, among other things, animal shapes including a goat...
2009 Roundup, Part Three: Harvard Scrounges Up Enough Cash to Buy Coffee
Posted on January 07, 2010After I posted about the guy who set a hand grenade on the jury box during a closing argument, Ken of the excellent Popehat blog reminded me of the hand-grenade paperweights once sent by a law firm to 500 potential...
2009 Roundup, Part Two: "We Are All Tarnished by Your Stupidity"
Posted on January 06, 2010In November, Pressler and Pressler, a collections firm in New York, dragged the wrong "Mark Hoyte" into court and then tried to blame him for not proving the firm wasn't wrong. "You didn't send any written proof of [your] claim...
2009 Roundup, Part One
Posted on January 05, 2010Before listing the top stories of 2009, I feel the need to purge all the various notes and partial drafts I have involving stories that I thought had potential but didn't quite get posted during the year. Many of these...
2009 Roundup, Part One: Nation's "First Openly Pagan Elected Official," Others
Posted on January 05, 2010Before listing the top stories of 2009, I feel the need to purge all the various notes and partial drafts I have involving stories that I thought had potential but didn't quite get posted during the year. Many of these...
New Year's in Prison a Happy One, Says Man Avoiding Family
Posted on January 04, 2010Hope you had a good New Year's Eve, and that you didn't have to spend it in jail. On the other hand, if you were hoping to spend it in jail because you preferred that to spending it with your...
Final Post of 2009
Posted on December 31, 2009I am busier than I expected today, mostly because I was apparently the only one stupid enough to actually come into the office on December 31. But I did want to post one final post of the year, although, as...
Mug Shots of the Year
Posted on December 31, 2009The Smoking Gun, the nation's top source of remarkable mug shots (among other things), has posted its selections for the top 20 of 2009. As you can see, that one is only #10. Link: The Smoking Gun
Cat's Relentless String Harassment Prompts Emergency Call
Posted on December 30, 2009Given that Americans called 911 this year for emergencies that included missing shrimp, McNugget shortages, and (most recently) an unstoppable Playstation 3, it is somewhat reassuring to know that people in other countries are also defective. It may be that,...
Woman Claims She Was Struck by Falling Moose Head
Posted on December 30, 2009New York resident Raina Kumra has sued the White Slab Palace restaurant in Manhattan, alleging that she was hit by a 150-pound moose head that fell off the wall above her during a party. The moose head, which sports antlers...
Re: The Underpants Bomber
Posted on December 29, 2009I was planning to write something like this Christopher Hitchens piece in Slate, and probably would have if anybody involved with my flight home yesterday had refused to let me go to the lavatory, to get up for any reason...
Stalin's Grandson Files Another Libel Case
Posted on December 27, 2009Despite losing a similar case earlier this year against a different newspaper, Yevgeny Dzhugashvili has sued a second Russian media outlet for allegedly defaming his grandfather, Josef Vissionariovich Dzhugasvili, better known to some as Stalin. Everyone Stalin didn't kill marches...
No Christmas Pudding Without a Waiver, Restaurant Says
Posted on December 26, 2009In olden times, finding a coin in a Christmas pudding was apparently a sign of good luck, but now it is more of a liability concern. Diners at the High Timber restaurant in central London who ordered the traditional Christmas...
Vatican Declares Papal Copyright
Posted on December 23, 2009Because of what it referred to as a "great increase of affection and esteem for the person of the Holy Father" in recent years (I assume that's a rhetorical flourish, because I don't recall the public really dumping on John...
911 Caller Declares Parenting Emergency
Posted on December 23, 2009Police in Roxbury, Massachusetts, said that an exasperated mother called 911 on Saturday, saying she could not get her 14-year-old son to stop playing "Grand Theft Auto" and go to sleep. Angela Mejia said she woke up at 2:30 a.m.,...
One Possible Class-Action Defense Strategy: Disappear and Live in a Tent
Posted on December 21, 2009In class-action cases we generally recommend removing to federal court if possible, moving to dismiss, and then swiftly taking class representatives' depositions if the motion is not successful. There are other strategies, however. Here's one that we could not officially...
Attorney Sued For Nose Biting; Claims Self-Defense
Posted on December 20, 2009According to media on Friday, a Memphis attorney has been sued by a man who is missing part of his nose. It appears that Greg Herbers is blaming Mark Lambert for the injury to his nose, on the grounds that...
First "Brno" Lawsuit Filed
Posted on December 18, 2009Sacha Baron Cohen, who was repeatedly sued by people who were unhappy with the way he depicted them in "Borat" (a group that includes most people who were depicted in "Borat"), has now been sued by someone unhappy with his...
The Answers to Your Questions About Wisconsin's State Symbols
Posted on December 17, 2009Okay, I know that many of you are probably going nuts trying to remember Wisconsin's official state "song, flower, bird, tree, fish, state animal, wildlife animal, domestic animal, mineral, rock, symbol of peace, insect, soil, fossil, dog, beverage, grain, dance,...
Bill Would Designate Bacterium as Wisconsin's Official State Microbe
Posted on December 17, 2009Boing Boing reports that the Wisconsin legislature is considering whether to designate Lactococcus lactis (right) as the state's official microbe. If it passes, Assembly Bill 556 would honor Lactococcus for the crucial role it plays in the Wisconsin economy (it...
If Darth Vader Were a Senior Partner
Posted on December 16, 2009He'd have this desk in his office: "Join me, and I will complete your training." According to the designer, Tom Spina, this is a "one-of-a-kind" item that is not for sale (unless you are in fact Darth Vader or possibly...
Feds Say Use of Bogus "Promissory Notes" On the Rise
Posted on December 16, 2009Did you know that you have the right to create your own promissory notes that the government and other entities are required to accept in payment of your debts? No? Then congratulations on not being insane. I've written many times...
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I do not owe a bill from over 5 years ago for prepaid elective surgery. A year after the surgery, however, I started getting calls about a bill. I asked repeatedly for a copy of the bill which I never received. Now it's
The hospital or company, by law, must supply you with a copy of the bill. If the...

I do not owe a bill from over 5 years ago for prepaid elective surgery. A year after the surgery, however, I started getting calls about a bill. I asked repeatedly for a copy of the bill which I never received. Now it's
The hospital or company, by law, must supply you with a copy of the bill. If the...








