Law Humor

Blagojevich Mocked in Furniture Ad

Posted on December 29, 2008
This excellent ad appeared in the Chicago Tribune on Thursday. It's not clear whether this was originally called the "Senate Sofa," or they renamed it to take advantage of the opportunity. But who cares? I know Blagojevich insists he can...

Your Drinks Made Me Beat My Wife, Says Plaintiff

Posted on December 29, 2008
In December 2006, Yoichi Shimamoto punched his wife in the face not long after they got off a plane in San Francisco. That, of course, was United Airlines' fault.The Shimamotos -- puncher and punchee -- have now sued the airline...

No End in Sight to Feud Among Rival Santa Groups

Posted on December 26, 2008
Maybe I haven't been paying enough attention, but it seems like there was a lack of Santa-related legal stories this season (comical ones, anyway), at least compared to years past. This one may (or may not) make up for that...

Amish Object to Putting "Mark of the Beast" On Cattle

Posted on December 22, 2008
The U.S. Department of Agriculture recently moved to dismiss a lawsuit filed by a group of Amish farmers who object to putting the "mark of the Beast" on their cattle. The specific "mark" they are worried about is a radio-frequency...

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Court Approves Serving Lawsuit Via Facebook

Posted on December 19, 2008
Better take a close look at all those "friend" requests you've been getting. One of them might be a process server. This week, an Australian court approved a lawyer's request to serve two defendants with a lawsuit by sending them...

Legislation Breaks Out During Brawl in South Korean Assembly

Posted on December 19, 2008
I love a good legislative fight. Not the kind where they debate stuff -- the kind where everybody ends up involved in an actual bench-clearing brawl. Unfortunately for C-SPAN's ratings, these things only seem to happen overseas. Last May, I...

D.C. Court of Appeals Rejects Appeal in $54 Million Pants Case

Posted on December 18, 2008
With great sadness I must report that the D.C. Court of Appeals has ruled against former judge Roy Pearson, so there will be no new trial on his claim that his dry cleaners lost a pair of his pants. Pearson...

Court: Pearson's Claim "Not Supported by Law or Reason"

Posted on December 18, 2008
I've now had a chance to skim the D.C. Court of Appeals' opinion in Pearson v. Chung (PDF copy at the link below). It is surprisingly light on mockery or outrage about Pearson's pointless legal quest, although it is, unsurprisingly,...

Iraqi Shoe-Thrower Evolving Into Mythic Hero Symbol

Posted on December 17, 2008
The story of the journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush the other day has now become entirely surreal, with the shoe-thrower being hailed as a hero throughout the Muslim world, and the shoe itself adopted by crowds as...

Burglar Says He Was Trapped In Home By "Supernatural Figure"

Posted on December 17, 2008
A Malaysian newspaper reported last weekend that a couple had returned from a trip to find an exhausted, dehydrated and terrified burglar inside their home. The man, who the couple reportedly found "clasping his hands in an apologetic gesture for...

Breath Tests Demanded for Australian Legislators

Posted on December 16, 2008
Australian newspapers, and some members of Parliament, called this month for legislators there to be subjected to periodic breath tests. The calls were prompted by a series of incidents in which drunken legislators have embarrassed themselves and the government...

Bush Survives Shoe Barrage During Baghdad Press Conference

Posted on December 15, 2008
Sources said President Bush was resting comfortably after narrowly escaping injury at a press conference in Baghdad on Sunday night. The president, on a surprise visit to the Iraqi capital, was surprised to find a shoe being thrown at him...

UPDATE: Urlacher's Toenail Accuser Has Lied Before

Posted on December 14, 2008
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about allegations that Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher has been painting his three-year-old son's toenails blue and otherwise causing him gender confusion. I was reminded recently that Urlacher's accuser, Tyna Marie Robertson, has a...

Thief Unwisely Tries to Steal Law Student's Laptop

Posted on December 12, 2008
A burglar learned the dangers of trying to come between a first-year law student and his case notes in an incident on November 6 at Arizona State University. Alex Botsios told police he woke up to find that a man...

Batman Reportedly Planning to File Bat-Complaint

Posted on December 11, 2008
Variety Magazine reported last month that the mayor of Batman, a city in southeastern Turkey, is preparing a lawsuit against Warner Bros. and Christopher Nolan, the director of the two most recent "Batman" movies. The mayor alleges that the filmmakers...

Single-Equity-Partner Structure Poses Risk, Says Magazine

Posted on December 10, 2008
"Dreier Troubles Show Danger of Single-Equity-Partner Structure," says a headline on the ABA Journal's site today.One such danger: the single equity partner gets locked up for fraud.This was in connection with the arrest of Marc Dreier, of the Dreier Law...

"Chinese Democracy" Criticized by Chinese Government

Posted on December 10, 2008
After 17 years of working on it, Axl Rose is finally happy with the new Guns N' Roses album, "Chinese Democracy." Surprisingly, the Chinese government is less pleased.Websites and searches related to the album were reportedly blocked throughout China after...

Cardboard Criminals, or, Paper Perpetrators

Posted on December 08, 2008
On December 3, authorities in Reading, Pennsylvania, reported that a man disguised as a paper plate tried to rob a local gas station. According to a report in the Morning Call, "[t]he caper began near Reading when a man wearing...

The Tale of Blackie the Talking Cat: Miles v. City Council (1982)

Posted on December 06, 2008
Here's another one for the Case Law Hall of Fame.The question in this case was whether the city of Augusta, Georgia, could impose an "occupation tax" on the plaintiffs under the circumstances. The circumstances were that plaintiffs owned a talking...

O.J.'s Sentencing Speech Causes Spectators to Weep, Judge to Reverse Conviction

Posted on December 05, 2008
Wait, I'm reading this wrong -- turns out he was the only one weeping, and the judge didn't buy his bullsh*t for a second. He got 15 years in prison. I stand corrected. O.J. Simpson did address the court this...

Lap Dancing "Not Stimulating," Says Chairman of Lap Dancing Association

Posted on December 05, 2008
Testifying before a British parliamentary commission last week, Simon Warr insisted that additional regulation of the industry he and his colleagues operate is unnecessary, and that most people just don't understand what their business is really all about...

"She Wasn't Driving Like a Christian," Says Driver Who Rammed Car

Posted on December 04, 2008
A driver who rammed another car at high speed outside San Antonio last week told police that Jesus had told him to do so because the other motorist was not "driving like a Christian."In my experience, He is usually satisfied...

Harvard Professor Opines on Scalia's "Gollywaddles"

Posted on December 03, 2008
Last month, Jay Wexler spoke to noted language expert Steven Pinker and asked him where Justice Scalia might have come up with the term "gollywaddles," which Scalia used during oral argument this term in FCC v. Fox Television Stations. Wexler...

Sarkozy Wins One Euro in Voodoo-Doll Case; Doll Will Remain on Sale

Posted on December 02, 2008
French president Nicolas Sarkozy has triumphed in his legal battle against a company that is marketing a book and voodoo doll using his image, reports said this week.He has been awarded one euro. In October, Sarkozy's lawyer sent the company...

China Executes Fraudulent Ant-Breeder

Posted on December 01, 2008
In another reminder not to do anything at all wrong in China, state media reported last week that a businessman who had been convicted of fraud in connection with a "bogus ant-breeding scheme" had been executed. The Xinhua News Agency...

Taco Bell Lawyers Disrespectin' 50 Cent

Posted on November 28, 2008
Lawyers for Taco Bell are accusing rapper 50 Cent of using his trademark-infringement lawsuit against the company for ulterior motives.Cent filed the lawsuit back in July after the company sent out a letter suggesting that it would donate $10,000 to....

Bears Linebacker Accused of Painting Son's Toenails Blue

Posted on November 27, 2008
Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears continues to not get along with his ex-wife and/or baby mama, Tyna Robertson. In court this week after the parties filed cross-motions on custody issues, Robertson said that she has not been allowing Urlacher...

"White Line Fevers From Mars": Norman v. Reagan (1982)

Posted on November 26, 2008
In this opinion from 1982, a judge dismissed Kent © Norman's complaint against Ronald Reagan, then President of the United States. (It wasn't clear whether he claimed a copyright in "Kent" or had changed his middle name to ©.) While...

SF Bay Area Docket (Nov. 2008)

Posted on November 25, 2008
The following cases were filed in San Francisco Bay Area courts during the past two weeks: Wendell Joost Jr. v. Guerneville Business Corp. dba Russian River Resort; et al., No. SCV243949 (filed 11/12/2008) Action for nuisance and trespass. The plaintiff...

Note to Self: No Grocery-Store Carjackings This Holiday Season

Posted on November 24, 2008
The reason: grocery shoppers are likely to be toting heavy frozen turkeys, which could easily be used as weapons. This lesson comes to you from Raleigh, North Carolina, where "authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged carjacker with a frozen...

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