Miscellaneous

The least the cops could've done was given him a chance for the hat trick!

Posted on June 18, 2008
Reader Kristin E. asked us to "please cover this story." Ask and ye shall receive, although there's really not much to be said aside from simply telling the story, as it quite speaks for itself: A brilliant man in Sheboygan,...

Hey, Associated Press -- Take These Nuts!

Posted on June 18, 2008
If you haven't heard, the Associated Press recently caught some flak in the blogosphere when it sent cease and desist letters to at least one blog, asking the blog to stop quoting huge chunks of AP articles. In response to...

Clearly, This Python Needs Some Obedience School

Posted on June 17, 2008
In Connecticut, of all places, police -- responding to a call that a man was threatening his girlfriend with his pet python -- arrived at Victor Rodriguez's apartment and got themselves a nice surprise. Viadero says that when the building...

Mr. Bruised Testicle Sentenced; A QL Update

Posted on June 17, 2008
A few months ago, we brought you news of David Aston, a Canadian man who was arrested for sexual activity with a child. As we told you then: David Aston, 32, would lay a towel down to keep his clothes...

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No Sir, Uh Uh, That Ain't Right

Posted on June 17, 2008
Let me ask you folks something. A fairly innocuous question. Maybe you don't know the answer, but maybe you do. Here it is: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? A couple accused of killing their 13-year-old son by tying...

The Daily Memo - 6/17/08

Posted on June 17, 2008
Despite some valid points by the author, I still think Chuck Hagel as Obama's VP nominee is a pretty solid option. (Salon) When we quote from the AP, we are apparently copyright-infringing scum of the earth. (Concurring Opinions) For $2.5...

Reviving our faith in the legal system one wonderful case at a time...

Posted on June 17, 2008
Cracked.com has posted an article listing the "nine inane cases" it thinks prove that "the US legal system is screwed." They include some obvious choices, like our favorite asshat DC lawyer who sued his dry cleaners for $67 million over...

That better have been one helluva joke

Posted on June 17, 2008
Christopher Cocker was chilling out in his flat (he's British, you see) watching the telly, when he heard a joke that tickled his fancy. He found it so funny, in fact, that he fell off his sofa in hysterics. Next...

Call me?

Posted on June 17, 2008
Kristina Caban just earned herself a 5 year stint in the Big House for daring to get angry over a one night stand. Back in 2004, she and Samir "Sammy" Sara had themselves a little fling. One night, much love,...

Can We Just Skip the Election and Give This Man a Lifetime Term?

Posted on June 16, 2008
First, this speech is absolutely amazing -- Barack Obama talks about religion reasonably, honestly, and candidly, consequences be damned. Second, I don't know when this speech was delivered, but it does have a little something in common with this...

School Systems Have To Step in To Prevent These Travesties

Posted on June 16, 2008
What kind of sick, twisted fourth grader shares her lip cream? Appalling! An Oregon City fourth grader missed her last day of school Friday because she shared a lip cream with two classmates. Madison McFadden attends Redland elementary. She said...

When FOX Anchors Throw Down

Posted on June 16, 2008
Link: sevenload.com We don't often agree with Geraldo Rivera, but sometimes, the man knows what he's talking about -- and in this case, we applaud him for basically pwning a colleague at FOX....

The Daily Memo - 6/16/08

Posted on June 16, 2008
"American Idol" is being sued because it apparently doesn't make enough money to pay the live musicians their rebroadcast royalties. (LAist) Nintendo no likey Nyko's ninja nunchucks. (Engadget) Says the Scalia: The Court's recent habeas decision "will almost certainly cause...

Keith Olbermann to McCain: "You want context? Here's your context!"

Posted on June 16, 2008

Next up on Pron Monday...

Posted on June 16, 2008
So you've heard about the well respected federal appeals judge (one step below our mighty Supremes) who was presiding over a porn trial and, lo, he turns out to be a porny judge himself, right? It was all the legal...

I'm high-fiving my lawyer, and I'm walking out the court a free man, and I'm getting my camera, and I'm finding another thirteen-year-old girl...

Posted on June 16, 2008
Jesus Christ. They had R. Kelly (allegedly) on camera doing nasty things with his thirteen-year-old god daughter. He was facing 14 counts in a child porn case that took six years to go to trial and now he's a free...

Free Simonizing!

Posted on June 13, 2008
God bless you Jon Stewart....

Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

Posted on June 13, 2008
Many of y'all might be too young to remember "Candid Camera," and that makes me feel sad. And old. The image shows the thief moments after he had stolen a £200 silver necklace and bracelet from a 16-year-old boy. Rather...

Tim Russert, 1950 - 2008, Dead of a Heart Attack

Posted on June 13, 2008
Man alive, I dug the hell out of that guy. Rest in peace, brother....

Should We Be Concerned?

Posted on June 13, 2008
After the Supreme Court delivered its decision, yesterday, ruling that terror suspects in Guantánamo Bay have a right to appeal their detention to a civilian court, both John McCain and George Bush delivered what I thought were disconcerting statements...

Webster's Dictionary Correction

Posted on June 13, 2008
Dear Readers: Recently, it has come to our attention that a certain word in the Webster's Dictionary is incorrectly defined. Through oversight or simple mistake, Webster's defines "humanity" as the "quality or state of being humane"; or "human attributes or...

The Daily Memo - 6/13/08

Posted on June 13, 2008
Well that was quick -- the AT&T/Starbucks/T-Mobile lawsuit is settled and done. (Gizmodo) Porny Judge Kozinski is calling for an investigation by the Judicial Council of the Ninth Circuit of himself. (Above the Law) Man, we were so close to...

Baby Mama Defined

Posted on June 13, 2008
Baby Mama (Noun) A woman who has a child out of wedlock with a man. She may or may not be in a relationship with the man, but most of the time, she is not. Check your dictionary FOX News...

The Proclaimers Would Appreciate This Man

Posted on June 13, 2008
You gotta give some props to Stephen Shoemaker; while half the stories we write about DUI court appearances involve either showing up to court drunk or not showing up at all, this man shows that a little effort and a...

Back in my day, we didn't stand for bitches stealing money. Still don't!

Posted on June 13, 2008
Erin VanMatre was hard up for money, apparently, and thought it would be a good idea to rob a helpless old man. Seventy-one-year-old Harry Kopenis (hee ... penis) walked down to his bank to get some cash from the ATM....

Don't be cruel...

Posted on June 13, 2008
Those Swedish authorities just have no sense of fun. The tax authorities over there have told a Stockholm couple that they can't name their daughter what they want. Because, apparently, the Swedes frown upon girls named Elvis. "We talked about...

Freudian Gaffe, Or Is This Man a Beer Terrorist?

Posted on June 12, 2008
Oh, John: You can take away my privacy, you can take away women's access to abortions, and you can even take away our government benefits. But you can't take away my Pabst Blue Ribbon, buddy. Step back, asshole....

Diane Court Would Not Approve

Posted on June 12, 2008
Like every woman in America, I've had a crush on John Cusack for the last two decades, only I'm not a woman, and it's more of an envy thing. Unfortunately, he's starting to get on my nerves lately --...

...And the Award for Grand Poobah of Stupidity Goes To...

Posted on June 12, 2008
...Fandi Pradipta, who basically held out his arms and asked the cops to cuff him. Police say a Dover, New Hampshire, teen suspected of using a stolen credit card at a store left a pretty good clue to his identity...

The Daily Memo - 6/12/08

Posted on June 12, 2008
Renowned 9th Circuit appellate judge overseeing a porn video trial ... busted for posting online porn. Hells yeah! You best believe this news was all around our office today quicker than a story about a summer associate/associate hook-up. (Above the....

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