Miscellaneous

Well everyone knows you can't trust a guy with a beard

Posted on June 12, 2008
Houston's City Council is embroiled in a legal battle of epic proportions -- trying to keep up its ban on uniformed policemen having beards. There's a pending civil rights lawsuit by police officers who say that this ban is discriminatory...

Now why on Earth would this judge be biased?

Posted on June 12, 2008
From the UK's Press Association: US gangster Vincent Basciano says he cannot get a fair hearing at his forthcoming trial because he has been accused of plotting to kill the judge. Lawyers for the New York mafia boss want Brooklyn...

How's a dude ever supposed to get laid?

Posted on June 12, 2008
Back in 2003, a British man was sentenced to four years in the clink for raping a woman. Now a free man again, the Brit has admitted to breaking into another woman's bedroom and stealing her underwear, which he said...

Cranky Geezer Has Problem with Words

Posted on June 11, 2008

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South Carolina Knows How to Celebrate!

Posted on June 11, 2008
Unbelievable. Authorities say seven people attending high school graduations in Rock Hill, South Carolina, are facing charges after police say they cheered while students' names were being called. Authorities say six people at Fort Mill High School's graduation were charged...

Ice Cream Headache!

Posted on June 11, 2008
Well, I don't know if it's as bad as suing McDonald's for millions after burning yourself with their coffee, but don't be surprised if a lawsuit against Sonic comes out of this: Salina police say a 66-year-old man whose car...

The Daily Memo - 6/11/08

Posted on June 11, 2008
The Bush Administration apparently took Lady Justice behind the dumpster and got her pregnant. (Above the Law) Hee -- endowments. I got some big endowments for you. ...I'm so juvenile, sometimes, I disgust myself. (Concurring Opinions) What happens when out-of-state...

Zombies beware!

Posted on June 11, 2008
Two Australian men dug the flick I Am Legend so much that they decided to recreate it. So they took a bunch of fake weapons and climbed up onto the roof of a newspaper building: They were taking turns...

Must the government always get in the way of good parenting?

Posted on June 11, 2008
There are times when I think it's ok for the government to get mixed into our personal affairs. If parents are beating their kids, not feeding them, etc., sure -- child services needs to step in and do something. But...

Lessons in Courtroom Attire

Posted on June 11, 2008
Let's say you are a criminal defendant who is coming into court for the first day of your murder trial. It's an excellent idea to stroll in with a suit and tie on. It's a terrible idea to also have...

I want my babybackbabybackbabyback, I want my babybackbabybackbabyback...

Posted on June 10, 2008
Anne Paskett has filed a lawsuit because she says she was duped by the allegedly low-fat offerings at Chili's and Macaroni Grill. She's been on Weight Watchers for three years and wound up eating more calories than she thought at...

Guns Don't Kill People, Hole Punches Do

Posted on June 10, 2008
Can't afford a gun or a knife? Stop by Staples before your next robbery attempt: Two robbers beat an 18-year-old with a three-hole paper puncher after breaking into his home Saturday night in the 400 block of Northeast 15th Court,...

"Top of the world, ma!"

Posted on June 10, 2008
Hey, you're already getting your mugshot taken and there ain't shit you can do about it, so you might as well at least make a good time of it. (This mugshot was part of The Smoking Gun's Mugsapalooza LIII, celebrating...

The Daily Memo - 6/10/08

Posted on June 10, 2008
Damn it! I love the Scalia, and now I learn that he may be a Sex and the City fan? Phoo-ey. (Above the Law) The Bratz case is heating up ... the lawyers are fighting over the hotels they're staying...

Breaking! Crazy Alien Troll Stumbles into the House of Representatives, Brings Articles of Impeachment Against Bush

Posted on June 10, 2008
The House really ought to hire some security; try to keep the riff-raff to a minimum....

"I'm Troy McClure, and now it's time for what we all came here to see -- hardcore nudity!"

Posted on June 10, 2008
A federal trial here in Los Angeles is getting ready to start up, and the jury is going to be in for quite a treat -- hours of hardcore fetish porn. At issue is how a jury will define obscenity...

A Terrorist Fist Jab? FOX News Sinks to New Level of Absurdity

Posted on June 10, 2008
Ha ha ha ha ha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!...

The frozen tundra...

Posted on June 10, 2008
John Facenda, a Philly radio and TV guy, used to be known as the "Voice of God" thanks to a long career as the voice of NFL Films (a position which was admirably taken up, and still held, by the...

Take That, You Samamabitch!

Posted on June 09, 2008
Occasionally, Bill O'Reilly will send out a reporter to badger another news personality, and the result usually entails the ambushed news reporter dodging questions and fleeing, which O'Reilly then uses to bolster whatever dumbass opinion he has of the...

Who the Hell Commissions These Studies?

Posted on June 09, 2008
Man alive! Statisticians must have a lot of free time on their hands to conduct a study like this. Strategic Name Development, a useless outfit out of Minnesota, decided to conduct a study to see how a person's presidential candidate...

One More Reason Not to Vote for John McCain

Posted on June 09, 2008
Now that Hillary has dropped out and endorsed Obama (great speech, by the by), we can turn our attention to John McCain: war hero, septuagenarian, cranky old man and ... ABBA fan. And proud of it, damnit. That's what we're...

The Daily Memo - 6/9/08

Posted on June 09, 2008
The family of the autistic kindergartener who was voted out of class has officially put the school district on notice of its intent to file a lawsuit, giving the district six months to try to fix things. (TC Palm)...

Well why should the government behave like the rest of us?

Posted on June 09, 2008
If I ever got audited by the IRS (*finds biggest fucking piece of wood in the forest and knocks on it hard as a motherfucker*), I don't imagine the agency would be too pleased if it determined I was being...

Opening up the QuizLaw Mailbag and finding greasy Dutch ham...

Posted on June 09, 2008
Reader Caitlin P. said that we had to do this story and, well, she ain't wrong. I had read stories about folks stealing gas in the face of increasing gas prices, like this story about gas thieves targeting truckers. Makes...

Texas Justice may leave you red and sore-bottomed

Posted on June 09, 2008
A Justice of the Peace in Southern Texas has been sued just because he tried to get a little creative -- Justice Gustavo Garza has been offering parents the option of paddling their out-of-control kids. When Daniel Zurita was before...

Maybe this guy will get cancer and die a horribly painful death too...

Posted on June 09, 2008
Jesus, this is like right out one of the Saw movies. Robert A. Williams, a NYC man with a long history of trouble, is currently on trial facing 71 criminal counts, including rape, attempted murder, arson and assault: Over many...

Thanks, Brian. Now We'll Never Forget It, Either

Posted on June 06, 2008

Suck it, Jack Thompson!

Posted on June 06, 2008
We've talked about Florida nutjob Jack Thompson several times before (see, e.g., "He'll Be Riding Six White Horses When He..." and "Florida Gets Something Right!"). Well god bless the Florida Bar, which is recommending that the fucknut be disbarred for...

Best Lawsuit of All Time

Posted on June 06, 2008
I'm not one to use hyperbole often, but seriously, I live in LA and I'm here to tell you that Time Warner Cable mother-fucking buuuuuh-lows. So the fact that the City Attorney's Office has filed a lawsuit against the monolithic...

Even when in-laws aren't your in-laws, they still suck

Posted on June 06, 2008
Mike Oberthaler and Jennifer Wilson were engaged to be married this September. But sometime last year, the two got into a pretty big fight, and when Jennifer came home to find her shit tossed all about her apartment, that was...

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